Thursday 25 March 2010

Frustration; life's growth opportunity

Grrr!!! Aaagh!! And any other way of communicating frustration!!

Today has been a VERY frustrating day for me. So many things just seem to have either gone wrong or have ended up taking so much longer than they should have; so it feels like I've never stopped all day today & yet I feel like I've achieved nothing of value.

How often does this happen to us all in life though? How often does it feel like we're wasting time chasing things up, sitting at the end of phone lines just waiting in a queue, or attempting to do things which, no matter how much you seem to be doing what's expected of you, just doesn't produce the results it 'should'?

Yet, isn't that just part of life? Life doesn't always go according to plan, or to how we'd like it to be. Sometimes, life just throws unexpected things at you, which yes; can be frustrating, can be annoying, can be disappointing.

But isn't the important thing, how we cope with these things? We can all make plans & think about how we'd like things to work out, but life's not that straight forward. We, as individuals, have no control over the external things, people, organisations, etc., that impact on our lives. All that we can control & have any power over is how we deal with those things. We can allow them to impact upon us negatively & dwell upon the negative feelings we experience, OR, we can accept that sometimes, things happen to us which aren't ideal or which hurt, upset, annoy, frustrate us.

We can choose to learn from these experiences. Accept that life is ultimately uncontrollable; yet for me, that's what also makes it so exciting. The unpredictability of life excites and ignites me. Life keeps trying to catch me out, but I won't let it; whenever it throws something at me that blocks my path or demolishes my crossing, I'll simply find a grenade to blast away the blockage or I'll build another bridge & establish a more effective way of crossing the river. And from each of these knocks back & their following steps forward, I'll learn something & I'll grow, and I'll be so much stronger to face whatever life chooses to throw at me next.

Life, for me, is a constant process of growth and development. Make the most of the knock backs; be grateful to them & choose to see them as learning opportunities & growth experiences. All of which ultimately make life more interesting, more exciting & can make us, as individuals, stronger, more empowered human beings.

Monday 22 March 2010

Look behind the initial facts

Monday 22nd March 2010


 

Nothing in life is ever black and white. This weekend, my car was damaged whilst it was parked in the street, across the road from where I was babysitting. I got a phone call from the police at 10.30pm to let me know; all I was told on the phone was that my car had been damaged & the police officer was on his way round to see me. My heart sank as I had no idea as to how much, or what kind of damage, had been caused. I didn't even go out to see it until the police officer got there – I think I was putting off finding out.

As I went out with the police officer to have look, he told me the story of how it had happened . . . apparently a man who was recently bereaved had had a fair bit to drink and had taken out his emotions on 4 or 5 cars in the same street; mine being one of them. Someone had seen him & apprehended him; at which point he apparently broke down & waited willingly for the police to come and arrest him.

I have SUCH mixed feelings about the incident though. Yes, I'm not happy about the damage to my car – especially as it's going to need a new bonnet; hence an insurance claim on my policy, which will probably affect my no claims. BUT my heart is just going out to the guy who did it. Seemingly, such behaviour is not part of his usual way of being, and it seems he was simply overcome by his grief . . . and I can't be angry with someone, so obviously in such pain.

Grief, and other intense emotions can cause us all to behave in ways we wouldn't normally even dream of. But doesn't that just show the intensity of the feeling? Doesn't it also show that we're all capable of anything; how can we ever know how we'll react to a real trauma in our life? We can plan for how we think we'll behave, but until we're consumed by emotion, we can have no idea as to how we'll react.

I think this incident also shows that we shouldn't judge someone, or something that happens, purely on initial facts . . . there's very often a good reason behind why people do the things that they do. If only more people could be more empathic and take the time to discover the facts before jumping to conclusions. People, very often, become very blinkered and aren't prepared to try and put themselves into anyone else's shoes; and in fact, doing so can be a very humbling experience. It's also a very rewarding experience in that it allows you to open up your world to other ways of being and experiencing.

Sunday 21 March 2010

Welcome back

Sunday 21st March 2010

Welcome 'back' to my 'new' blog. I first began writing a blog last August, but life got in the way & I'm ashamed, and saddened, to say that I didn't keep it up. Well; life's caught up with me again & I've decided it's time to restart my blog . . .


 

I'm starting from scratch though; it's a whole new beginning. It's been an emotional time for me, both positive and negative, since I last wrote anything, & I'm sure I'll compose many reflections from that time. I've learned a lot about myself over the last few months, and I'm happy to be able to conclude that I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life . . . despite the emotional upset, disappointment, hurt and loss I've experienced. So I feel like I'm in a good place from which to launch my blog again, and I hope my thoughts and reflections might just be useful or relevant to others of you out there.


 

My training as a counsellor has no doubt helped me significantly, and I'd like to share some of those learnings with you all as we travel through my blog.


 

This is also a bit of a test run for me, because I'm writing, and uploading it in a different way to last time. So I think I'll leave it there for now, whilst I give it a try and make sure that it's working . . .