tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56195286652436752024-03-23T10:58:33.874+00:00Therapy, Thought & Learning"Thinking inspired by what I experience, see around me & sometimes photograph. Reflections on life, therapy and embodied experiencing ...
For more information about me, please visit my website at: www.sharoncoxcounselling.co.uk or have a look at www.mewsandmusings.blogspot.co.uk for The Counsellor's Cat's Blog
For those of you visiting this blog from my website, please use your browser's back button to return to the siteSharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-42515823133929061952013-03-16T10:07:00.000+00:002013-03-16T10:07:27.645+00:00I'm moving ! !<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx6QxyaDiri0B_jiQS4lwDRt8OiVhYGFeZjioushhQJkXEsz5RlavqoM5fAkcVh9n7b27s3OphyphenhyphenzNltnVPIR-sO9KALrJBeIg91Jx2iWIIJnhZeD40X-5XmGWRn6BjsZvFOIamJDO4ww/s1600/DSCF0649+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx6QxyaDiri0B_jiQS4lwDRt8OiVhYGFeZjioushhQJkXEsz5RlavqoM5fAkcVh9n7b27s3OphyphenhyphenzNltnVPIR-sO9KALrJBeIg91Jx2iWIIJnhZeD40X-5XmGWRn6BjsZvFOIamJDO4ww/s320/DSCF0649+(2).jpg" width="228" /></a>Thank you everyone who has read posts on this blog over the 3 years or so it's been up and running.<br />
<br />
As a result of my professional interests expanding, I am developing a new website, which will go live very soon ... <a href="http://www.therapywithsharon.co.uk/" target="_blank">www.therapywithsharon.co.uk</a><br />
<br />
... To work alongside this, I have decided to begin a new blog called '<b>Therapy & Other Things with Sharon</b>' which can be found at <a href="http://therapywithsharon.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">http://therapywithsharon.blogspot.co.uk/</a><br />
<br />
I hope you will join me there, where I am planning to continue writing in the same vein as I have here. I also intend to import all of my 'Therapy, Thought & Learning' posts over there ...<br />
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<b><i>I look forward to hopefully seeing you soon !</i></b></div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-24955590938348669542013-01-13T09:52:00.000+00:002013-01-13T09:58:11.285+00:00Inspired Motivation ...<br />
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Two weeks into the New Year, and I suspect many peoples’
New Year’s Resolutions will already be beginning to flounder or indeed, already
have gotten lost …<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCsTlZ_FmhctWuQJY43UwgGd8Up7iPLVAPxjpBW23k3oaNbVeI5mMe6Vu7jphe2I6j98jZ3Da3nFG57u9KSKjNkqI-6kP-MIck4-DBNo_PwEUgPe-qSPpPid5My0rICzKTUzOsFg417Q/s1600/MP900442383%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCsTlZ_FmhctWuQJY43UwgGd8Up7iPLVAPxjpBW23k3oaNbVeI5mMe6Vu7jphe2I6j98jZ3Da3nFG57u9KSKjNkqI-6kP-MIck4-DBNo_PwEUgPe-qSPpPid5My0rICzKTUzOsFg417Q/s200/MP900442383%5B1%5D.JPG" width="200" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
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It can be difficult to maintain the motivation to
continue with these kinds of resolutions or plans to change. It’s a topic I often work with with my
clients. It’s easy to come up with
things to do to improve yourself, your situation or your life; what’s not so
easy is maintaining the effort it takes to put these plans into practice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As humans, we seem too ready to give up on things that
take effort. Any big change requires
effort; it doesn’t often happen spontaneously.
It’s too easy to focus on the sacrifices or effort required in the here
and now & not think about the long term gain. It’s too easy to procrastinate and put off
until ‘tomorrow’ what could have been done today; but tomorrow never comes
& suddenly years have passed and the person is still stuck in the original position. It’s too easy to find easier or more enjoyable
things to do & put off the task that requires the effort.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But then you don’t achieve the goals you made and you’re
left with a personal sense of dissatisfaction, frustration and often failure. And you’re left in the same place as where
you started …<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDijxZcgeJ1PUlkvgYqR7tC59dXyzVf_VgDSPYDBA85x1T7wbmHyKDpWGeDq8npBsdNvxVLh4diYaCmq2lbZz4hbWQKIrspU5D58Aio-nc2vvAhXxWEOgM2MAQS51d2eooulHZU5MP6Q/s1600/MP900439409%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDijxZcgeJ1PUlkvgYqR7tC59dXyzVf_VgDSPYDBA85x1T7wbmHyKDpWGeDq8npBsdNvxVLh4diYaCmq2lbZz4hbWQKIrspU5D58Aio-nc2vvAhXxWEOgM2MAQS51d2eooulHZU5MP6Q/s320/MP900439409%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a>This topic is on my mind right now because 2013 is the
year in which I intend to write up my PhD thesis; all 100,000 words of it! If I need to, I could allow it to take me
into 2014 and even the first half of 2015.
But I don’t want it to drag on that long; I want to get all of my
research written up and disseminated as soon as possible. I’ve been working on it since 2008 and it’s
been a huge part of my life since then.
It’s become part of me! It’s <i>always</i> there at the side of my mind, no
matter what I’m doing or who I’m with.
And it’s time to begin the process of letting it go; as in a pregnancy, I’ve
fed and nurtured it with vast amounts of data, this is the year in which I finally
give birth to the baby which is the thesis, allowing it to begin its own
journey out there in the world …<o:p></o:p></div>
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I know that the write up is going to be, at times, hugely
frustrating and I’m going to want to give up, or find something ‘easier’ or
more pleasurable to do. But I need to
keep focused, to organise myself so that my thesis does take priority this
year; no matter what those sacrifices entail.
I will ensure that I plan fun things and relaxation time, but the thesis,
and its’ completion must remain my number one focus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because of the extra time I could add on to the end of
this year, I’m aware that my completion date has the potential to drift. But to ensure that I remain focused and to
have something to look forward to at the end of it, I’ve decided on my ‘reward.’<o:p></o:p></div>
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As human beings, we like rewards! And if you’ve got something to do which
requires a lot of time and effort, or something which you don’t really like the
idea of doing, but know that you have to do it, having a ‘reward’ in mind at
the end of it can be a useful strategy. It’s
good to have something positive or exciting to focus on when the task is
becoming tedious or difficult. The end
reward has to be worth the sacrifice it feels you’re making, otherwise it’s too
easy to just give it up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And in my case, I know the sense of achievement I’ll feel
when the thesis is written up and I have that fully bound book in my hand will
be reward in itself. But, that’s an
intangible outcome, which is sometimes difficult to focus on. As with the kinds of issues I work on with
clients, their outcome in itself (overcoming an eating disorder, changing their
communication style, overcoming anxiety, etc. etc) will be a huge achievement;
but that’s often not enough to maintain the motivation needed to put in the
required effort. A sense of achievement,
personal change, etc, are all intangible.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOM7H7K0UKbUorg0UDj6h71hfolo_Dd0xNY0b3rZ7e_ErQ9PxI6z0FmF6in0bJP5OkYZaqopbd5xTcUCVtDrYAY8FJJ5Jxd6qvECw3ZcxlSqfwz016dm8tGqv1jZdsBijmTyq_SHkipQ/s1600/custom_regalia%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOM7H7K0UKbUorg0UDj6h71hfolo_Dd0xNY0b3rZ7e_ErQ9PxI6z0FmF6in0bJP5OkYZaqopbd5xTcUCVtDrYAY8FJJ5Jxd6qvECw3ZcxlSqfwz016dm8tGqv1jZdsBijmTyq_SHkipQ/s200/custom_regalia%5B1%5D.jpg" width="200" /></a><o:p> </o:p></div>
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Motivation can sometimes be better maintained when there
is something concrete there to work towards.
A specific reward that will be given when the outcome has been achieved. Something tangible that can be easily seen or
imagined … it can be useful to have a physical picture or something that
symbolises the reward at hand to look at when motivation is beginning to
slip. The more valuable the reward is to
you, the more likely it is to reinforce your motivation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So … what’s my reward to myself going to be? Other than becoming a Doctor of Philosophy!?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh70qv_00NHv_D7AthiByTSjy3J9gnNjIduBzPBosL1UEdVJ32CIc1sicrQMZE8J396FkUJZ-QH756fguPsb9Q15KDk4kSr85la_XDhXKxKEqHBL0cF9SAx1M1wAMi-0UCgV2OcqAvaDQ/s1600/1253001725_01_fmd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh70qv_00NHv_D7AthiByTSjy3J9gnNjIduBzPBosL1UEdVJ32CIc1sicrQMZE8J396FkUJZ-QH756fguPsb9Q15KDk4kSr85la_XDhXKxKEqHBL0cF9SAx1M1wAMi-0UCgV2OcqAvaDQ/s400/1253001725_01_fmd.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b><i>A two week trip to South Africa, living on a Big Cat
sanctuary, feeding, taking care of, and playing with the big cats …</i></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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http://www.i-to-i.com/volunteer-projects/live-with-lion-cubs-in-south-africa.html<br />
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http://www.khayavolunteer.com/hands-on-volunteer-with-lions-and-big-cats-in-south-africa.html<br />
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Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-39733001365730085922013-01-01T17:11:00.000+00:002013-01-01T17:11:38.421+00:00Thesis Meadow: The beginning of the end ...<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Five years ago this month, back in January 2008, during my annual
appraisal, my manager at work first suggested I think about completing a PhD.
It's something I'd never even considered until that day. I'd always
intended to complete a Masters Degree in Counselling, but hadn't gotten round
to it ... & yet suddenly, I was contemplating the idea of a PhD!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">It's been a hugely interesting journey since then and I can’t
believe that this has been such a big part of my life for five years; that’s a
long time! And yet, in many ways, those
five years have flown by. So much has
happened to me and the people in my life during those five years; loved ones
have come and gone, new adventures have been lived and are now just memories, new
learnings have taken root both within and with-out my research. The PhD has been the one constant throughout
it all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_apWQDX77gyssxrYN2KQm9lZ5JVA2avVA5yO6Jms3NuRdE873B0uFponZ4yESz8rAnSUJlYRBDxJqe0L2-kE1uWq-HYF7nv1Karv2zXaUzXxtNOsPFUhoV0MPBxFYyTjChh8YtiSCA/s1600/100_3972.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-_apWQDX77gyssxrYN2KQm9lZ5JVA2avVA5yO6Jms3NuRdE873B0uFponZ4yESz8rAnSUJlYRBDxJqe0L2-kE1uWq-HYF7nv1Karv2zXaUzXxtNOsPFUhoV0MPBxFYyTjChh8YtiSCA/s200/100_3972.JPG" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">And five years on, here I am at the start of my writing up
period. I’ve learned so much over the
past five years; much of which I think I’ll only fully appreciate as I begin
the long process of putting it all down on paper. It’s an exciting time for me; time when all
of my reading, thinking and data collection finally comes together. Right now,
it’s all scattered across numerous books, various computer files, and, of
course, all around my brain! This is the
year, I pull it all together, process it finally and produce the (hopefully!)
sense-making thesis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikUI7S38nFfL4t2JTp4EU13X2_E_qfAH8nOR17knG-gMPkeOu14s-sLLCzcwD0u8wj0AtdcJW-D-1ZpL3Wg0GrpWycs8t2hsIC4p_I6ngGPRvoJEYT7RnHUSzAshWeeVYFem62OVB8aQ/s1600/Workings+of+a+PhD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikUI7S38nFfL4t2JTp4EU13X2_E_qfAH8nOR17knG-gMPkeOu14s-sLLCzcwD0u8wj0AtdcJW-D-1ZpL3Wg0GrpWycs8t2hsIC4p_I6ngGPRvoJEYT7RnHUSzAshWeeVYFem62OVB8aQ/s320/Workings+of+a+PhD.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Scattered workings of a PhD</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">There have been times over the last five years, when I’ve doubted
myself and wondered why I ever embarked on such a huge project. Times when I’ve felt privileged to be talking
to many of my research participants.
Times when I’ve felt hugely excited and the new learnings, connections
and discoveries I was making. Times when
I’ve not been able to see my way through it, out of it, under it; times when I’ve
felt completely lost within the forest of knowledge. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibvIneF0cELczu96SL5NcRXr4DPe-dFIa-5JM_NL2DdAxnEXX3UL3dvhczWpXxsM9O9lNN-RaPA8AWNDnfc2CfzUXF1o3aDxEEot6BiBesR9R1utcDmUR6W4-JA6Y1IB-ZUS-1Qih2Jw/s1600/IMG_0214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibvIneF0cELczu96SL5NcRXr4DPe-dFIa-5JM_NL2DdAxnEXX3UL3dvhczWpXxsM9O9lNN-RaPA8AWNDnfc2CfzUXF1o3aDxEEot6BiBesR9R1utcDmUR6W4-JA6Y1IB-ZUS-1Qih2Jw/s200/IMG_0214.JPG" width="200" /></a><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">And here I am now, seeing daylight and feeling freedom. I’m at the edge of the trees & ahead of
me is a beautiful open meadow, which I’ve stepped on to today when I typed up
my thesis title page … 153 words down, just another 99,847 to go!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieuVPOkStkKFE4vAbqg2vbPo1JgHUo8D9QQBOKb1wCr7ZlWkQHwooLYvwmFtvDwI0S7_62H5hTG3Ru7_Nw8u7gRSe7UemFwJITvcEX3XtmlHr9BaYRzoIqRO6EScLLOekBp5kKQ7u-aw/s1600/MP900448618%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieuVPOkStkKFE4vAbqg2vbPo1JgHUo8D9QQBOKb1wCr7ZlWkQHwooLYvwmFtvDwI0S7_62H5hTG3Ru7_Nw8u7gRSe7UemFwJITvcEX3XtmlHr9BaYRzoIqRO6EScLLOekBp5kKQ7u-aw/s320/MP900448618%5B1%5D.JPG" width="237" /></a><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I know that although I’m now walking through the open meadow,
there are going to be many storms ahead.
I have no doubt that I have frustrating, doubting and disheartening days
ahead of me when the storm clouds descend; I also know though that there will
be many exciting, enlightening and satisfying days too full of sunshine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">And right now, the sun is shining, and I’m full of excited
anticipation as I wonder just how my thesis will turn out and what I will find
in there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span> </div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<i><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><b>Please come along with me as I begin my journey across Thesis Meadow …</b><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-74743717857246221992013-01-01T13:20:00.004+00:002013-01-01T17:12:07.422+00:00Happy New Year 2013 ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD-wZST0sc6jyhuO6TKK1AuqrZtiR6JZ_9ux77i6LnPYPoO2xY5Vs_6pVv4XFsQwu58twJeig2oQn6OAETdoEy_5bIHx4cOjfidyvj1w83412JHq8oI9MTVTWWgxJvNKQrBYTtI9zOqQ/s1600/IMG_0213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD-wZST0sc6jyhuO6TKK1AuqrZtiR6JZ_9ux77i6LnPYPoO2xY5Vs_6pVv4XFsQwu58twJeig2oQn6OAETdoEy_5bIHx4cOjfidyvj1w83412JHq8oI9MTVTWWgxJvNKQrBYTtI9zOqQ/s320/IMG_0213.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">January
1<sup>st</sup> 2013 and here I am sitting at my computer, listening to Curtis
Stigers’ ‘Let’s Go Out Tonight,’ and gathering my thoughts and intentions for
the coming year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnK932CQB2Ouf2EBgr9jwP3Z1wV_2zlT-J5pkpX7UJ7bYMq0ecPvgEr4_o05n4sNKQ5uvPHJjz09I_4m0fVxV9LrrghC8kKzlXfpT0GbLIWQWxPr3N3H4vqIbflcyMp7al4xzmt6xAJQ/s1600/Sharon+&+Curtis+Stigers+08.04.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnK932CQB2Ouf2EBgr9jwP3Z1wV_2zlT-J5pkpX7UJ7bYMq0ecPvgEr4_o05n4sNKQ5uvPHJjz09I_4m0fVxV9LrrghC8kKzlXfpT0GbLIWQWxPr3N3H4vqIbflcyMp7al4xzmt6xAJQ/s200/Sharon+&+Curtis+Stigers+08.04.12.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Myself and Curtis Stigers<br />
Photo kindly taken by Matthew Fries,<br />
Curtis' fabulous piano player<br />
Bradford, April 2012</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib5pyr1E9ciNWMnLY3X7oeMxrAUhzFfBQXUgxpjHPSXunM-uX2qj7H4FG0M36_bvAi40dk0Rt3-tYJLiLp9qiK684DOUHk-dwt0sGLwmq3g42_86cDDelWTgXqJ-BPtpnLN0lvadZaUQ/s1600/WP_000388+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib5pyr1E9ciNWMnLY3X7oeMxrAUhzFfBQXUgxpjHPSXunM-uX2qj7H4FG0M36_bvAi40dk0Rt3-tYJLiLp9qiK684DOUHk-dwt0sGLwmq3g42_86cDDelWTgXqJ-BPtpnLN0lvadZaUQ/s320/WP_000388+(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Curtis Stigers & his fabulous band, signing autographs<br />
on the concourse, The Sage, March 2012<br />
John 'Scrapper' Schneider, Cliff Schmitt, Keith Hall,<br />
Curtis Stigers & Matthew Fries</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;">I'm
very aware that across 2012 this blog drifted from its initial concept; but it
seems that that was a reflection of my recent reconnection with my musical
self. Music has always been a hugely important part of my life, but over recent
years</span> other things had taken priority; mostly my therapy trainings and
PhD. Back in March 2012, a very
unexpected and exciting encounter at The Sage, Gateshead (thanks in part, to
Curtis Stigers and his band!), opened me back up to my musical creativity and
since then I’ve found myself being able to write songs again (the lyrics of
some of which I’ve posted on here in previous entries), playing my guitar and
piano much more and joining a choir. </div>
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<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiorGPwij736k33z5FCIDs9Go8_JXBS7grIY6MuYbFvdKTC5ArqiV6V6U3Jbx_hp843gyRASfL7WbQLg7qU3FoxSfAMrHpsiakHoqJZlJcn5W3ZumSxy10_oalxZ4JPTF_UYrORl_71g/s1600/IMG_0212.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiorGPwij736k33z5FCIDs9Go8_JXBS7grIY6MuYbFvdKTC5ArqiV6V6U3Jbx_hp843gyRASfL7WbQLg7qU3FoxSfAMrHpsiakHoqJZlJcn5W3ZumSxy10_oalxZ4JPTF_UYrORl_71g/s200/IMG_0212.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Countdown to flash mob Auld Lang Syne</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I
ended 2012 performing to an almost sell-out show in Hall One of The Sage, as
part of a choir backing an Abba Tribute band; and I & started 2013 singing
Auld Lang Syne as part of a 3-part-harmony flash mob performance with my
choir. It seemed like the perfect ending
and beginning for me …<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw2zeCKq2cRU3VTpTrxi2xWepTsRSPwDjn0aFRA7LW-qXpvgMQBQ036EC46E0qLAB55uDeoJg_uKCOhUdWdKvS-Ehbt_iIv4krSpXrp816p8Wrij-3NW7Lcm78MQ6peWQjovN_jwBmdA/s1600/IMG_0208.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw2zeCKq2cRU3VTpTrxi2xWepTsRSPwDjn0aFRA7LW-qXpvgMQBQ036EC46E0qLAB55uDeoJg_uKCOhUdWdKvS-Ehbt_iIv4krSpXrp816p8Wrij-3NW7Lcm78MQ6peWQjovN_jwBmdA/s320/IMG_0208.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Party on The Sage concourse with the James Taylor quartet</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">2</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">013
feels like an important year for me, and one which I am looking forward to with
excitement, hope, and apprehension; I turn 40 and I (hopefully!) complete my
PhD.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">I know it’s going to be a
challenging, frustrating yet ultimately satisfying year if I am able to
complete my thesis over these next 12 months.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">
</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">To do this though, I need to be focused and organised.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">My thesis </span><i style="line-height: 115%;">has</i><span style="line-height: 115%;">
to take priority across 2013, although I also need to ensure I have fun and
freedom too!</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">And for me, the downtime is
going to be filled with music.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I
intend to commit to writing regularly on here again, and I suspect my entries
will focus on my thesis progression, my continuously developing thoughts around
it as me, my data and my computer become even more intimately connected! </span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2k_Yo57jimzVq6yqWWJJNRunnuC37u66t11ypvrNq-DYfs8bVVn_YMzXJOu6EFalYwe0NYxoXKPRVX_f7U7aEYUtsq_dlvcZUoMiZ7JYsYRpGOd-AXMcf0I6Rp7oPDlaN3K3AZS3WVQ/s1600/DSCF1077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="147" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2k_Yo57jimzVq6yqWWJJNRunnuC37u66t11ypvrNq-DYfs8bVVn_YMzXJOu6EFalYwe0NYxoXKPRVX_f7U7aEYUtsq_dlvcZUoMiZ7JYsYRpGOd-AXMcf0I6Rp7oPDlaN3K3AZS3WVQ/s200/DSCF1077.JPG" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elsie & I studying together</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">I also though, want to ensure that these
entries reflect the musical progression in my life too … and who knows what
2013 has in store there!!<span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbvRvE9QBpVQtD3VjzHLshvLDY3flamIQk_k-62PfO-NTVg1osgL-2cN80CAiEUd39JwFHoZwXm7l0w1dXIi55KB_-DBHfX3MUQwnL2BS0HnubDRGuvA4wUpXt9paKYa9CTgRFoUKx5w/s1600/DSCF2017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbvRvE9QBpVQtD3VjzHLshvLDY3flamIQk_k-62PfO-NTVg1osgL-2cN80CAiEUd39JwFHoZwXm7l0w1dXIi55KB_-DBHfX3MUQwnL2BS0HnubDRGuvA4wUpXt9paKYa9CTgRFoUKx5w/s320/DSCF2017.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The piano playing cat</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="line-height: 115%;">And
of course, tangled in all of this will be Elsie, my cat, who turns up wherever
and whatever I’m doing; studying, songwriting, & whatever else I happen to be doing, she'll be there with me!</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><i><b>Wishing you all a fabulous 2013 filled with love, happiness & lots of nice surprises, x</b></i></span></div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-30015146049097656732012-12-25T07:40:00.000+00:002012-12-25T07:40:18.429+00:00"Here on Christmas Day"<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5FnTv5gOnsWvvxjbJ2SSx0-ecO8mhkbaTUnMjjT6xhyphenhyphenh4Mlu_xZ-3e1X5blWtQ1HYst2yOuz6rbDRlA_rZYQvAbKWFzy-beB2dhQjqWMMO1Am8KA0ijDZIGx5H7klVN2tFg27qDUXqQ/s1600/Santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5FnTv5gOnsWvvxjbJ2SSx0-ecO8mhkbaTUnMjjT6xhyphenhyphenh4Mlu_xZ-3e1X5blWtQ1HYst2yOuz6rbDRlA_rZYQvAbKWFzy-beB2dhQjqWMMO1Am8KA0ijDZIGx5H7klVN2tFg27qDUXqQ/s400/Santa.jpg" width="265" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A Christmas song ... </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"Photographs
in picture frames<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Around
memories of yesterdays.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Raise
a glass to everyone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Whose
footsteps are still on my heart,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Whose
loved has kissed my soul,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Whose
heart has held my own,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
though they’re gone,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
feel they are still here on Christmas Day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Come
with me and let me show you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
wonderful, magical Christmas Tree.</span> </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Each
toy is a memory; past, present and future,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Each
light is a kiss; there’s even a spare!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Raise
your glass high; both behind and forward<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
we toast the past, and what’s yet to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Santa
Claus holds us all safe in his arms,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
we over-indulge in this love that we share.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLWSIB5LF1kTWXiLS2UhmyI0y8NJ72cTp3HQBpnzjYJpbN7qNsLmHQ7DfbVZgO7ceTzm_MQaTAfvoproJl7rbGERcCxLwJAcPuk6Y08EUazMnFIspfMbg0lG51ZUHeLqNdlizc3B_Cig/s1600/Xmas+tree+with+snow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLWSIB5LF1kTWXiLS2UhmyI0y8NJ72cTp3HQBpnzjYJpbN7qNsLmHQ7DfbVZgO7ceTzm_MQaTAfvoproJl7rbGERcCxLwJAcPuk6Y08EUazMnFIspfMbg0lG51ZUHeLqNdlizc3B_Cig/s400/Xmas+tree+with+snow.jpg" width="263" /></a><span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Stories
that are yet to be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Written
down in memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Let’s
spare a thought for those yet to come;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Souls
that my heart has yet to meet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Gifts
that will be share,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Food
to be prepared,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
though they’re not yet here,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
feel their love here on Christmas Day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Come
with me and let me show you<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
wonderful, magical Christmas Tree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Each
toy is a memory; past, present and future,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Each
light is a kiss; there’s even a spare!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Raise
your glass high; both behind and forward<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
we toast the past, and what’s yet to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Santa
Claus holds us all safe in his arms,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
we over-indulge in this love that we share ..."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Comic Sans MS;">(c) Sharon Cox 25.12.12</span></div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-33960825161134375612012-12-03T19:51:00.001+00:002012-12-03T19:52:54.103+00:00Beating at the Heart of Christmas ...<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Once
upon a time there was a lonely little Christmas Tree Toy. She was a pretty little thing; a beautiful
red heart, which had been made with lots of love and care. But she was sad and lonely as she sat in a
house all on her own …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2vYO82nL5Jn6fKxwsKWe2nqqA3rvoTgfQdV8-stM4Nh1Jc_4HP5P67iFD8-NO2_R-b35gG8StDek5gSjxDRFGbUa0-A1JplnQB11qhZJ75jbZJS90WkuznJDn82KEuvUUqxrS45G4cA/s1600/DSCF2210.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2vYO82nL5Jn6fKxwsKWe2nqqA3rvoTgfQdV8-stM4Nh1Jc_4HP5P67iFD8-NO2_R-b35gG8StDek5gSjxDRFGbUa0-A1JplnQB11qhZJ75jbZJS90WkuznJDn82KEuvUUqxrS45G4cA/s320/DSCF2210.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">She
remembered the kind and happy old man who had made her.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">He’d taken so much care when he carved her
from the huge plank of wood from which she and her friends had come from.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">She had no idea what had happened to all of
her friends.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">The last she remembered of
them, they’d all been hanging together on a branch in a shop.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And then a lovely lady came along &
gently looked at them all, before deciding to take away the beautiful red
heart.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
beautiful red heart was happy and excited; she knew that she must be
special. She was the Christmas Tree Toy
that the lovely lady had chosen. And
because she was such a lovely lady, the beautiful red heart felt safe in the
knowledge that she would be going to a lovely warm home, to hang on a beautiful
Christmas Tree and make lots of new friends with the Christmas Tree Toys
already hanging there. She was wrapped
up nice and warm and safe in tissue paper so the lovely lady could take her
home.</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But
the beautiful red heart was disappointed when she got home with the lovely lady
because she just put her to one side and left her there, and the beautiful red
heart began to feel sad and lonely, wishing she was still with her friends in
the Christmas shop. She’d been told to
expect such delights when someone came along to take her to their home … but
the beautiful red heart thought she must have just been forgotten about, cast
aside in her Christmas wrapping …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
then one day, the beautiful red heart heard happy voices and her heart rose as
she felt herself being picked up by the lovely lady and being given to a
gorgeous girl. The gorgeous girl
carefully opened the tissue paper in which the beautiful little red heart was
nestled. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
beautiful red heart was feeling so happy and excited … what was about to happen
to her? The gorgeous girl took one look
at the beautiful red heart and her face lit up with a huge smile and she said; “You
are so beautiful. You can have pride of
place on my Christmas Tree this year!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
beautiful red heart was so very happy to hear this. She knew that at last, she was going to find
her home on a beautiful Christmas Tree full of friends …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But
wait. No!! The gorgeous girl is leaving and she’s left
the beautiful red heart behind. The
beautiful red heart screams at the top of her voice; “Stop! Wait for me!
You’ve forgotten me!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhuuQErdjIEM0yRvQQvJNx-1QsrbGgJihanM5zbkqchBdHXEVqd2bYh1GC2EGCyRCh9DqS_h4g1c0KRlRniA5PrURLwgogFA_ZXNFbbd3pzo7MMYwweEg1cac23Tp50xH9ItAx-nQI1g/s1600/DSCF2212.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhuuQErdjIEM0yRvQQvJNx-1QsrbGgJihanM5zbkqchBdHXEVqd2bYh1GC2EGCyRCh9DqS_h4g1c0KRlRniA5PrURLwgogFA_ZXNFbbd3pzo7MMYwweEg1cac23Tp50xH9ItAx-nQI1g/s200/DSCF2212.JPG" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But
the gorgeous girl doesn’t hear her, and the beautiful red heart begins to cry
as she realises she’s being left behind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The gorgeous girl mustn’t want her after all. She’s not going to spend her Christmas on a
gorgeous Christmas Tree after all. The lovely
lady spots the beautiful red heart sitting on the side and carefully wraps her
up in her tissue paper, and puts her to one side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Back
to being the lonely little Christmas Tree Toy without a Christmas Tree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The lonely little Christmas Tree Toy spends a
few days feeling sorry for herself, part wrapped up still in her tissue paper,
wondering what fate has in store for her.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
then one day, she looks around and notices the lovely lady with a box full of
Christmas decorations. She feels herself
begin to get excited. Might she have a
Christmas Tree to hang on after all?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKatXa4w8AVCcJgA1q3to7JHFJmVqoN3afkl7DMk6q6EK0nfzxbdv-ZkOKl2z22xNgvdtMkAyy9tAqpWIAuqAEeXglh-9UBLzOCPERK3Yx95GkbIBBAOrjpxVupBSn4RMFxZ4Nc6frfw/s1600/100_3208.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKatXa4w8AVCcJgA1q3to7JHFJmVqoN3afkl7DMk6q6EK0nfzxbdv-ZkOKl2z22xNgvdtMkAyy9tAqpWIAuqAEeXglh-9UBLzOCPERK3Yx95GkbIBBAOrjpxVupBSn4RMFxZ4Nc6frfw/s320/100_3208.JPG" width="235" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
She
watches the lovely lady take a Christmas Tree out of the box. But this doesn’t seem right. It’s black.
Aren’t Christmas Trees supposed to be green? And aren’t they supposed to be big and
bold? This one is tiny. The beautiful red heart can see just how tiny
it is when she sees the lovely lady’s cat sat next to it. The tree is no bigger than the cat! There’s no room for the beautiful red heart
and lots of friends to hang on there.
She watches the lovely lady put small, brightly coloured baubles and
tinsel on the tree … but there’s no room for her.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
beautiful red heart’s excitement begins to fade as she realises, that this
Christmas Tree isn’t for her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Back
to being the lonely little Christmas Tree Toy without a Christmas Tree.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
lonely little Christmas Tree Toy snuggles back down inside her tissue paper,
dreaming of Christmas Trees and all the friends she was going to meet
there. She thinks about all of her
friends in the shop, all of the Christmas Tree Toys who were cut from the same
plank of wood as she was. Where are they
all now? “Are they still hanging in the shop?” she
thinks. “At least they’ll still have each
other and won’t be all alone like me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
lonely little Christmas Tree Toy spends a few more days feeling sad and sorry
for herself. And then one day, the
lovely lady picks her up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I
wonder where I’m going now?” the beautiful red heart thinks. “I hope it’s somewhere nice. But what if it’s not? What if I’m just going to be thrown
away? A lonely little Christmas Tree Toy
without a Christmas Tree to hang on, isn’t much good to any one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">The
beautiful red heart was taken outside and carried by the lovely lady to a
different house. And when she got there,
she was surprised to see the gorgeous girl again. And as the lovely lady handed the beautiful
red heart to the gorgeous girl, the gorgeous girl looked so happy to see the beautiful
red heart again that her loneliness was swept away forever.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhQC0iwC7U1ET_mqjDfUBMWdh0JH7assBX8xo8XRfrY5BRaJoRUpGsg7UtPZdGr9bQz4BCrihT5c7r8-st49WO-lIIDYJC79xm5_zpw9PXi8cqv-PuGbdvz3bbI9CqdCgXZ0DnbVtIaA/s1600/Xmas+Tree+%25283%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhQC0iwC7U1ET_mqjDfUBMWdh0JH7assBX8xo8XRfrY5BRaJoRUpGsg7UtPZdGr9bQz4BCrihT5c7r8-st49WO-lIIDYJC79xm5_zpw9PXi8cqv-PuGbdvz3bbI9CqdCgXZ0DnbVtIaA/s320/Xmas+Tree+%25283%2529.jpg" width="220" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
gorgeous girl took the beautiful red heart carefully out of her tissue paper,
and, as the beautiful red heart’s excitement built and built, she carried her
into a lovely warm living room and there, there was the Christmas Tree that the
beautiful red heart had dreamt about.
She felt filled with such love and happiness that all of her sadness was
washed away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
gorgeous girl gently hung the beautiful red heart onto the Christmas Tree, and
the beautiful red heart looked around her, she just knew that she was going to
be very, very happy hanging here. There
were lots of new friends just waiting to be made and she just knew, that she
was the heart beating at the centre of them all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Zt9itKC4bePLdAsTQ7q5qvow04MV0zQWR9DJvVyOuWKnwo5bJXnUCUFUecKaBpCTOQMtCf5dDIj1zcEi8Ao_wr6Qy_7CqOwmfeq5D6ZYb9oS6BKiT59gQeO2kUKbMIDftsByk_dYhQ/s1600/DSCF2211.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-Zt9itKC4bePLdAsTQ7q5qvow04MV0zQWR9DJvVyOuWKnwo5bJXnUCUFUecKaBpCTOQMtCf5dDIj1zcEi8Ao_wr6Qy_7CqOwmfeq5D6ZYb9oS6BKiT59gQeO2kUKbMIDftsByk_dYhQ/s320/DSCF2211.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b><i></i></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></i></b></div>
<b><i>Love,
friendship, good luck and happiness would beat throughout that Christmas Tree
that year and through everyone who was lucky enough to see it … with it’s beautiful
red heart beating … beating at the heart of Christmas …</i></b><o:p></o:p><br />
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Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-22465404263227230582012-11-25T14:21:00.001+00:002012-11-25T18:54:21.924+00:00I catch the songs that make the whole world sing ...<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwRo-8STp5V2gd8bY67Yqp8Hio5nAds4H-88LIZUZYJ8Uw9KJ6QIbl0eYcXiDaBILQUcvP7Ah0tjegCduBRx8EEgqWn7mYcjf08qYSzT-KxoTgN6mBA8NuKmf5YouSkYaKmqgbBJ3X7Q/s1600/DSCF2197.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwRo-8STp5V2gd8bY67Yqp8Hio5nAds4H-88LIZUZYJ8Uw9KJ6QIbl0eYcXiDaBILQUcvP7Ah0tjegCduBRx8EEgqWn7mYcjf08qYSzT-KxoTgN6mBA8NuKmf5YouSkYaKmqgbBJ3X7Q/s320/DSCF2197.JPG" width="320" /></a> Playing my guitar this morning, working on a couple of the songs I've written recently, I began thinking about the process of songwriting ... & how obscure it is; at least for me!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can't consciously grab hold of what happens when I write a song. I never write in a formulaic way. I don't think about music theory when I'm writing. I don't think about what 'should' work or 'shouldn't' work. I just allow the song to emerge ...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And that's the process for me. I can't force a song to be written. I can't just sit down and decide to write a song. The song will only be written when the time's right for the song; that's just how it feels. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYyTV_RMiL4mb1pcz2KNBctVLb495UqDeeqGhD5OKVYH5DI1AsyV5MNfbmYS-N_oBLnA-6hTHM8Nqt1eOs0U6JRsjA9t-y9hqAgiuK42lrMIO2IyjxqvWlwUGpjx3kYCy5ET78t7HQjQ/s1600/DSCF2167.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYyTV_RMiL4mb1pcz2KNBctVLb495UqDeeqGhD5OKVYH5DI1AsyV5MNfbmYS-N_oBLnA-6hTHM8Nqt1eOs0U6JRsjA9t-y9hqAgiuK42lrMIO2IyjxqvWlwUGpjx3kYCy5ET78t7HQjQ/s200/DSCF2167.JPG" width="150" /></a>Earlier in my life, I was a prolific songwriter. Songs came easily to me. They weren't all necessarily good ones, but some were! What, for me, was important though, was that I could write songs. I could express myself, my thoughts and feelings through music and lyrics; and that was a powerful outlet for me. And then, somewhere along the way, I seemed to lose that ability. Fortunately, for whatever reason (& I could hazard a guess as some of those reasons!), I seem to have broken through my writers' block and have written 3 new songs over the last few months, which gives me great pleasure. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And yet, to go back to the songwriting process, I'm not sure what I do to write a song. It's feels more like a process of me having to capture what emerges through my fingers on the guitar or piano, or through my mouth when lyrics & / or a tune begin to emerge, or even what I sometimes hear vaguely playing somewhere in my mind. I'm not consciously creating the song ... it feels more like it emerges through me & I have to catch it!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOswRGKvOfk0DrBPQPMYyhcUTPDPzAliz3B6_yQqlJ4rccJ63j89PY1lvk2JcoKLvtAwwpPDOmUgXyOKHEBxm51EQiO8Gv4KD8bDENfg1sGBGMc6qgrWIT7T64EB8uUJ-XLh3CSQlX5A/s1600/DSCF2179.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOswRGKvOfk0DrBPQPMYyhcUTPDPzAliz3B6_yQqlJ4rccJ63j89PY1lvk2JcoKLvtAwwpPDOmUgXyOKHEBxm51EQiO8Gv4KD8bDENfg1sGBGMc6qgrWIT7T64EB8uUJ-XLh3CSQlX5A/s320/DSCF2179.JPG" width="320" /></a>Which isn't always easy. Sometimes, I can 'hear' that tune in my head, but I somehow can't quite get it out through my voice or instrument. And that can be really frustrating! But that moment when I do stumble across, or find, the right notes or chords is amazing! Such a sense of achievement; 'Wow! that's it!' It can make me smile or even laugh out loud, when the song is suddenly out there! I feel a sense of pride at this piece of music that I've created, that's come from me ... & yet I still don't fully understand where it comes from!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Does that matter though? The final creation is what matters ... the song; no matter where it comes from, or how it gets there ...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-50055127896417573892012-11-18T12:44:00.001+00:002012-11-18T12:51:21.811+00:00Christmas Wordplay ...<div class="posterous_autopost">
As someone who loves wordplay, and who is very aware of both how much, and how little, words can mean ... I just love these Christmas cards!<br />
<br />
Every time I hear the carol, 'The Holly and the Ivy,' I'll think of this Holly and Ivy!<br />
<br />
<div class="p_embed p_image_embed">
<a href="http://getfile9.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-11-18/wljacFxvwooyrIujeciyGElmgzwocmwntgjuHDmgAkmlbrfjqeHicvpajscy/DSCF2144.JPG.scaled1000.jpg"><img alt="Dscf2144" height="453" src="http://getfile6.posterous.com/getfile/files.posterous.com/temp-2012-11-18/wljacFxvwooyrIujeciyGElmgzwocmwntgjuHDmgAkmlbrfjqeHicvpajscy/DSCF2144.JPG.scaled500.jpg" width="500" /></a> </div>
<br />
Bought in John Lewis, the cards are designed by Ernst Voller & the copyright of the image belongs to photolibrary.com (who I hope doesn't mind me sharing it on here!?!) (RNLI also receive a donation from the sale of these cards)</div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-32902197540577011562012-11-06T16:11:00.001+00:002012-11-06T16:26:14.378+00:00My Life In A Photo ...Whilst I was writing a song on my piano and guitar yesterday ('Liberty' the previous entry on here), my cat, Elsie, jumped up onto the top of my bookcase to watch ... after she'd helpfully walked up and down the piano keys a few times!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGTgs2AkRBUfTKqNDe1HI9oweUoCpqo2NQwp72LJixReiY2zm9cUvBTymc-1KjESDr01pTlchu_W3mmaqjk8DZrLBcS09X2PRSXVLrNgYpimIYiS2eWjsYlYeu-y7A4KL7roGo2JNz8A/s1600/DSCF2034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGTgs2AkRBUfTKqNDe1HI9oweUoCpqo2NQwp72LJixReiY2zm9cUvBTymc-1KjESDr01pTlchu_W3mmaqjk8DZrLBcS09X2PRSXVLrNgYpimIYiS2eWjsYlYeu-y7A4KL7roGo2JNz8A/s320/DSCF2034.JPG" width="248" /></a></div>
I got my camera and took a photo of her sitting up on the bookcase watching me. It's somewhere she's only been once before ... at least whilst I've been in to see her!! As I took the photo, I realised that it included most of the important things in my life. I moved my guitar to make sure it was clearly in the frame ... and there it was; my life.<br />
<br />
My gorgeous god-daughter in the photo. <br />
<br />
My cat on the bookcase.<br />
<br />
My books, symbolising my love of reading, my PhD and my interest in all things relating to therapy and the human condition. <br />
<br />
My guitar and piano showing my love of music ... playing them, writing songs, singing, and listening to music; both recorded and live.<br />
<br />
My laptop, on its home on my little stool - another part of my PhD, it also symbolises my love of writing and researching online. It houses my collection of photos of friends, family and important memories. And of course, it's my link to friends and to this blog.<br />
<br />
And last, but not least, my wine rack ... & enjoying a glass or two of wine ...<br />
<br />
<i> </i><br />
<i> <b> Which photo of yours, illustrates your life?</b></i>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-834712960536540992012-11-05T22:00:00.001+00:002012-11-26T13:20:11.045+00:00Liberty ... a song for New York<br />
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCnWPfGGelosB-cJrpb1RUOB7pk3fmjNpuNZoc_KS5iRdjb9BWe8Xn6-19vA0Mg06AuRz5pLP8Ti3t_WT2iFEnyJ-LDxsZhyphenhyphen7r8-y1VpvATzkmGZ4cjc6Oz22sJCd4DKK75mQq1VAjaQ/s1600/liberty%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCnWPfGGelosB-cJrpb1RUOB7pk3fmjNpuNZoc_KS5iRdjb9BWe8Xn6-19vA0Mg06AuRz5pLP8Ti3t_WT2iFEnyJ-LDxsZhyphenhyphen7r8-y1VpvATzkmGZ4cjc6Oz22sJCd4DKK75mQq1VAjaQ/s400/liberty%5B1%5D.jpg" width="300" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Verse 1<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Raindrops and stormy
clouds, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Blowing through the skies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Tears, fears, and broken
dreams,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Caught in many eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I watch Liberty cry for
everyone,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Who’s felt her heart was
their home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And as she takes a look at
what’s destroyed;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Things she could not
control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And it leaves her feeling
like a lost and injured soul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Verse 2<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Waves crash and sweep
ashore<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">All that’s in their way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And washing up old
memories<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">From a different
yesterday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I watch Liberty scan the
skies,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And wonder what’s yet to
come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">She listens to the fear
that’s in her heart,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">But it’s drowned out by
hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Cos she knows that storm
clouds always drift away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Verse 3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Instrumental<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I watch Liberty inhale the
air,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Take it deep in her soul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">She looks to her flame to
light the way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Along the steep road to
home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">And she knows her heart
will some day soon be whole.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">(c) Sharon Cox 4th November 2012</span></div>
Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-35797342347716162012-06-18T11:57:00.000+01:002012-06-18T11:57:58.890+01:00Might This Be Love?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP52aKSvvmytwur4iE8ohaD_ZVokr5AqnaTx8G0ZVa-gxJqEhukktRPfpUGBkw7qJvwjPqoaSaGHsiSZe37rlJd_3CjadY2XVMH1Oa0Vu2kemnFwQ-93FMnbPYeZ7fAJfJt-2B5UxvDg/s1600/Might+This+Be+Love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP52aKSvvmytwur4iE8ohaD_ZVokr5AqnaTx8G0ZVa-gxJqEhukktRPfpUGBkw7qJvwjPqoaSaGHsiSZe37rlJd_3CjadY2XVMH1Oa0Vu2kemnFwQ-93FMnbPYeZ7fAJfJt-2B5UxvDg/s1600/Might+This+Be+Love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP52aKSvvmytwur4iE8ohaD_ZVokr5AqnaTx8G0ZVa-gxJqEhukktRPfpUGBkw7qJvwjPqoaSaGHsiSZe37rlJd_3CjadY2XVMH1Oa0Vu2kemnFwQ-93FMnbPYeZ7fAJfJt-2B5UxvDg/s1600/Might+This+Be+Love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP52aKSvvmytwur4iE8ohaD_ZVokr5AqnaTx8G0ZVa-gxJqEhukktRPfpUGBkw7qJvwjPqoaSaGHsiSZe37rlJd_3CjadY2XVMH1Oa0Vu2kemnFwQ-93FMnbPYeZ7fAJfJt-2B5UxvDg/s400/Might+This+Be+Love.jpg" width="283" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Empty glasses on the nightstand tell a tale of illicit love.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A borrowed bed, a hotel room; drinking stolen wine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But when I close my eyes, I still see his brown eyed smile,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And on my lips the ghost of his mouth kisses mine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oo-oo-oo; might this be love?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Words that were not spoken tell a story of their own.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
A smile that held promises of love to come. magnetised my soul.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And then I found myself searching for a heart that I'd only glanced,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I heard those silent words screaming, 'Please take this chance.'</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Because, oo-oo-oo; might this be love?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I can only guess that fate had plans for me.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Took me by the hand and led me, to where he would be.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Made me think;</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oo-oo-oo; might this be,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oo-oo-oo; might this be,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Oo-oo-oo; might this be love?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
(c) Sharon Cox June 2012</div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-30735191324543097152012-04-22T15:02:00.000+01:002012-04-22T15:02:38.859+01:00Unadulterated Pleasure …<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Watching
my young god-daughter last night eating an Easter egg really brought to my
attention how much our relationships with food and eating change throughout our
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuK6M78Uo2DbxZKPrpbFUfh60g1m-4hkB3kHcUdQ-J0glC41R8ILYFK0YgyCVAZgtJhDCl5ldMED0nwUsqziTctBbeuMoM1KJXnVDQgwiatn8JvKVaiYfsIBaQ8ivRd3VsSNFVMU8LYg/s1600/DSCF1043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuK6M78Uo2DbxZKPrpbFUfh60g1m-4hkB3kHcUdQ-J0glC41R8ILYFK0YgyCVAZgtJhDCl5ldMED0nwUsqziTctBbeuMoM1KJXnVDQgwiatn8JvKVaiYfsIBaQ8ivRd3VsSNFVMU8LYg/s320/DSCF1043.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">As
babies and young children we eat when we’re hungry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We demand to be fed, and if we’re lucky
enough to live in the Western world where food is in plentiful supply, and if
we have caregivers who respond adequately to our needs, we’re given food.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we consume it, and we stop eating when
our body is satisfied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Babies and young
children aren’t aware of the pressures yet to come to them from our Western
culture that demands that they look a certain way and that they manipulate
their body into a prescribed ideal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">When
I showed my god-daughter the egg, her face lit up with unadulterated
pleasure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was pure excitement in
her eyes as we unwrapped it together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And as you can see from this picture, she consumed it with passion and
pure enjoyment …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">How
many people as adults are able to consume food, and especially chocolate and
other ‘treats’ with the unadulterated pleasure of a child?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many adults have their pleasure of food
spoiled by inner voices telling them they shouldn’t be eating it, they’ll get
fat, it’s wrong to enjoy food, etc., etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And even people who’ve never struggled with eating disorders, so often
worry about putting on weight, losing weight, the number of calories, the fat
content, and more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
W<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">ouldn’t
it be wonderful if we could all eat with the unadulterated pleasure of a young
child?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we could all simply eat to
satisfy our body’s physiological hunger needs? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But food and eating are inextricably tied up
with emotional needs and hungers … and for the majority of adults, food and
eating is often used as a substitute means of satisfying those other
needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all use food in ways other
than satisfying bodily hunger … have a think about how you use food and what
food means to you, and for you … <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><strong><em>Wishing you too, the unadulterated pleasure of chocolatey abandonment ...</em></strong></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-26004506621261606332012-04-11T19:38:00.000+01:002012-04-11T19:38:56.471+01:00Melodious, Harmonious Empathic Connections<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I've
been sitting reflecting between clients today on a changed sense of self I'm
currently experiencing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm recognising
it as an opening up, an expansion, and also a reconnection to a vital part of
myself that 've suppressed over the last few years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbAYfi1rKEcstYwmPA6lsn9431Ne4QDNbQOeay3IoU4uEjJ9_ugUL6DVASnBCT4rb4trdKWTlALIiZ7aKvCkWaQhbsK1TQRHBFILLmDEvO6FTkPKzKTkTMQLKVyEJ0DCb8nerZc5m-g/s1600/My+guitar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKbAYfi1rKEcstYwmPA6lsn9431Ne4QDNbQOeay3IoU4uEjJ9_ugUL6DVASnBCT4rb4trdKWTlALIiZ7aKvCkWaQhbsK1TQRHBFILLmDEvO6FTkPKzKTkTMQLKVyEJ0DCb8nerZc5m-g/s320/My+guitar.jpg" width="266" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">In
my teens and early twenties, music was a huge and vital part of my life; a huge
and vital part of mySelf. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Back then,
when I didn't have a strong sense of Self, music gave me an identity and a way
of expressing myself. I played guitar, a little bit of piano, sang, and wrote
songs; and I loved it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Leading
up to, and during, my counselling training, I began to develop and connect with
a much stronger sense of Self as an individual. Self awareness, personal
development, psychological theories and therapeutic ways of being enveloped me.
I found other ways of expressing myself. I became a 'Counsellor,' a 'Clinical
Supervisor.' I became a 'PhD Student,' an 'Eating Disorders Specialist.' I became
a 'Clinical Hypnotherapist' and 'NLP Practitioner.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But
somewhere along this path, I forgot that I was also a 'Musician,' and a
'Songwriter.' <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Sitting
here today, I can see how blinkered I'd become, how focused my vision had
become onto the therapeutic and eating disorders worlds. I loved, and do still
love, that therapeutic world. I love connecting therapeutically with clients,
exploring my own, and others' subjectivities, sharing deep empathic understandings
and connections, being part of, and observing, the growth and change processes
of others.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But,
I also love music. And I think I've forgotten that at times.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">For
me, the connection that happens in the therapy room when working at depth with
clients, is a similar sense of connection I feel when connecting with other
musicians in a music room. And it's only as I write this now that I'm
understanding that parallel. For me, connection is so important. That sense of
retaining my own unique individuality (sense of Self), whilst connecting at a
deep empathic level with others, is vital, and as both a musician and a
therapeutic practitioner I'm lucky to experience that.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">If
possible, at times, the musical connection can feel even deeper than the
therapeutic one. Playing an instrument or singing a song with other musicians,
and hearing and feeling part of a shared whole (the song) is incredible. One
retains one's individuality as the musician, but it truly is an experience where
the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It truly is empathic connection
at the deepest level; embodied, through Self, through instruments, and through
the music.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivMLCKqgsjV3Gray8GW2KlYzOpGbW9BlP4qfQPvcj6m_PjO0IxdXNpKLK7Yt6LMq8bIPasM7119ZZul-lRz1nnmp67kJfPrVL5fSQKLVinJOnf5ppxrwF_9rt8j7PcgJ4nNMqjaXkY7Q/s1600/11_13_96---Double-Bass_web%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivMLCKqgsjV3Gray8GW2KlYzOpGbW9BlP4qfQPvcj6m_PjO0IxdXNpKLK7Yt6LMq8bIPasM7119ZZul-lRz1nnmp67kJfPrVL5fSQKLVinJOnf5ppxrwF_9rt8j7PcgJ4nNMqjaXkY7Q/s320/11_13_96---Double-Bass_web%5B1%5D.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Embodiment
has been a significant part of my PhD research. And I'm now really appreciating
just what an embodied experience music is; both when playing an instrument or
listening to live / recorded music. Music isn't just heard. It's felt. The bass
line or drum beat that resonates through one's body. The melody or song lyric
that causes the hairs on the back of one's neck or arms, to stand on end. The
rhythm that your foot just can't help tapping along to. And when playing an instrument,
the musician and instrument seem to merge. Watch musicians play, and just see
how their body moves with, and around, their instrument. Observe their facial
expressions as they lose themselves in the sound and the act of creating that
sound. And when playing an instrument it can, at those times of empathic
connection with the music, feel that the instrument truly is an extension of
one's bodily self.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">It's
no wonder that for some musicians, their instrument becomes so precious to
them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I'm
excited about reconnecting with my Musical Self. It feels as if my sense of
Self has expanded, has opened up. My world is suddenly a bigger, much more
expansive, expressive place. I think the 3 recent entries on here, and the song
I've just written, are proof of that! An opening of my mind, and an expansion
of my creativity, which I hope will also help me re-engage with my therapeutic
and academic work in a much more expansive and creatively expressive way too.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Melodious, harmonious empathic connections,
musically, therapeutically and academically are hopefully mine now ...<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<br />Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-87574895624805410252012-04-09T12:06:00.000+01:002012-04-09T16:11:00.996+01:00The Songwriter's Muse<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Inspiration can strike in the oddest of places ... here I
am, sitting in a motorway services somewhere on the M1 on a wet Sunday
afternoon and a song has began to take shape in my head! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsQww6yM61JH1AKNEqF_NB_IXA4F63yvEag9QpIvKziH_Hc8ineiikMJJO7iUVwcCbk6DMd17oIYmmqbr1iSUX_ZVK0Ac6VdfSNlNxA0USwT68egGd4rRhpDQOFRhOUCsVn-iVqa3xMw/s1600/My+guitar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsQww6yM61JH1AKNEqF_NB_IXA4F63yvEag9QpIvKziH_Hc8ineiikMJJO7iUVwcCbk6DMd17oIYmmqbr1iSUX_ZVK0Ac6VdfSNlNxA0USwT68egGd4rRhpDQOFRhOUCsVn-iVqa3xMw/s320/My+guitar.jpg" width="266" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I used to be quite a prolific songwriter (not all good,
but a few memorable ones!) but I've gotten out of the habit in recent years.
However, after an enjoyable and extraordinary encounter this weekend, </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">musical inspiration seems to have infiltrated my unconscious
... and I feel excited by it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I never had a set way of writing songs. Sometimes the
lyrics would come first, at other times the melody or the chords would
introduce themselves to me as I played my guitar or piano. Sometimes </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">they'd make themselves known to me simultaneously. I
always had a storyline for a song ... a complete, contained little tale told in
a few verses and a chorus, with sometimes a 'middle eight' or a </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">reprieve thrown in for good measure. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today though, I'm sitting here looking at the cars and
lorries driving by on the M1 and the storyline has presented itself to me,
visually initially, inside my head. I can see images in my mind ... almost like
the video that would accompany the song. From the images I can see the
atmosphere the song will contain, and from that atmosphere, I can hear, in my
mind, the feel, shape and sound the song will take. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From that storyline and atmosphere, I'm writing potential
lyrics, the story the song will sing. Of course, they'll change as they find
their place in the music yet to be composed. Their structure and rhymes will change
and adapt as they find their best fit amongst the melody, chords and rhythm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEO-OAh2TE5nqf3CxTOG1byEeQaQXtE2X6vqyR26bKljK1UVB_Y1eYA6o-MWkxteGbg9TrJRNWwpJiSUcxIc_2ZO1roXxIpUybr_dNInH9OsMIb32NLH0lwm83KXlUjwRbKuZnrayPXw/s1600/MP900431336%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEO-OAh2TE5nqf3CxTOG1byEeQaQXtE2X6vqyR26bKljK1UVB_Y1eYA6o-MWkxteGbg9TrJRNWwpJiSUcxIc_2ZO1roXxIpUybr_dNInH9OsMIb32NLH0lwm83KXlUjwRbKuZnrayPXw/s320/MP900431336%5B1%5D.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My songs have always been inspired by personal
experience; by something that's happened to me, </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">been said to me, or that I've seen or read. They're not
always an accurate representation of my </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">personal experience and feelings, but sometimes
adaptations, exaggerations, contractions, alternative realities. And I like the
ambiguity that comes from knowing that others don't my truth; is the song my reality,
or is it not?! It allows me to be emotionally present in the songs whilst not
laying myself too vulnerably bare. (Similar in many ways to how I write this
blog). <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I feel so excited! I can't wait to get home and sit
down with my guitar or at my piano and allow the music to flow. Because for me,
as a songwriter, that's what needs to happen; the song needs to flow. It feels
like the song writes itself; like I'm just the channel through which the lyrics
and music find life.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2_xIm2Km3CaMGVz2i5DDeW7U1iTW78-BFmC7dwcACDDXyTxau3SpPKJgqNYMolO_yaXjbt0An3QPLNviTFFUsBUHkmzWycrWOhrzdHElKQ7qhbHB0EndXDbeidqmXyjZpl_G4_lkJuA/s1600/11_13_96---Double-Bass_web%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2_xIm2Km3CaMGVz2i5DDeW7U1iTW78-BFmC7dwcACDDXyTxau3SpPKJgqNYMolO_yaXjbt0An3QPLNviTFFUsBUHkmzWycrWOhrzdHElKQ7qhbHB0EndXDbeidqmXyjZpl_G4_lkJuA/s320/11_13_96---Double-Bass_web%5B1%5D.jpg" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that's such an exciting process! I remember the sense
of achievement, awe, contentment and pride when a song has been born. Something
that I've created and given life to. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And right now, I'm looking forward to feeling that
unmistakeable feeling once again ... very soon! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And following from my previous entry ... I wonder if the
people around me now can see any outward signs of my inner excitement as I
manically type this up alongside the lyrics on my iPad!?! <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p> </div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: right;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">... with special thanks to my brown
eyed inspiration ;-)</span></i></b></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; text-align: right;">
<br /></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-36873478320482843512012-04-09T11:48:00.000+01:002012-04-09T16:09:51.182+01:00Masking Turbulent Insides<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sitting at the corner
table in 'The Olde English Tea-Rooms,' watching everyone relaxing and chatting over
their tea, coffee and freshly baked hot scones. I suspect I look just like one
of them, enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee, calmly writing these notes ... <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUoR_ehmyF41135DFwWgaCKAuE0QapMlS4y8AK5A19Ro3hX2YUxJXgO2HELdVAH1TTWKG2SX7DtkYjfkiQRTjeTNRqctzh-OJD5pxUERkpCPSV-hS8VsR4iOo93RxjOlexby9hv0eNsg/s1600/MP900423030%5B1%5D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUoR_ehmyF41135DFwWgaCKAuE0QapMlS4y8AK5A19Ro3hX2YUxJXgO2HELdVAH1TTWKG2SX7DtkYjfkiQRTjeTNRqctzh-OJD5pxUERkpCPSV-hS8VsR4iOo93RxjOlexby9hv0eNsg/s200/MP900423030%5B1%5D.JPG" width="200" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The outer appearance
though is a mask; a complete contrast to my turbulent insides. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
M<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">y stomach is churning,
turning somersaults as it baulks at the caffeinated invasion. Nausea sweeps through
me in unexpected waves. My mind is dancing and jumping through all the possible
alternative realities that might be mine for the rest of the day as I
anticipate turning the page to this as yet, unwritten interlude in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Nervous, excited anticipation
is my current dining companion. The meeting I've waited for, imagined, fantasised
about, looked forward to, is about to happen. No one else in this sweet little
cafe has any idea of the free-falling feelings tumbling around inside me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We might be all sharing
the same physical space, but we're each living our own unique, individual realities
and experiences. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And for me, that's one of
the things I love about us as human beings. We can never know completely what
someone else's experience is; even when we're sharing that same experience. We
can look around us at the people we're sharing public spaces with ... cafes,
restaurants, bars, concert arenas, public transport, shops, schools, etc ...
and yet never know what those other people are thinking, feeling, experiencing,
remembering, even forgetting ... <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And at times, the
knowledge that no one else can know what one is thinking or feeling creates a sense
of power. We might leak clues with our body language; and it can be fun to
watch the expressions ... smiles, frowns, grimaces, etc ... that sometimes
cross people's faces unconsciously, or changes in their posture, body
movements. But they're just little unconscious leaks, small clues. We can never
truly know. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes, it might be
nice to know what other people are thinking or feeling, especially those we share
a close or intimate relationship with. It would certainly reduce the inevitable
uncertainties, misunderstandings and miscommunications that are part of
relationships. But that would detract from the uniqueness of each of us as the
individuals we are. Our unique subjective experience is what both isolates us
... and ultimately, connects us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><strong>And by the way ... my meeting proved very enjoyable!
The nerves had been entirely unnecessary; an easiness and gentle connection,
with a hint of more to come quelled those instantly!</strong></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-68570847528394299372012-03-15T22:13:00.000+00:002012-03-15T22:34:57.112+00:00The Binge ...<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">The
decorative biscuit tin has been sitting there on the side all week. Calling to
me, drawing my attention to it. Even when I'm not looking at it, I can feel its
presence; I know it's there. And I know it's full of those delicious cookies
that I just love. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiffBDr-rfL4wzeTdKETD98JM82mveKG4r2eXT7bF5t5nKDlGw-7U5fXrv8-690ZKsu1_-lCvMVyOmYuPiu80Ti4I3HdT5_t3BcwycaPbTVonvHk-9URKJV7GbB8vbOINr53owN3He68A/s1600/Cookie+jar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiffBDr-rfL4wzeTdKETD98JM82mveKG4r2eXT7bF5t5nKDlGw-7U5fXrv8-690ZKsu1_-lCvMVyOmYuPiu80Ti4I3HdT5_t3BcwycaPbTVonvHk-9URKJV7GbB8vbOINr53owN3He68A/s320/Cookie+jar.jpg" width="227" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I've
resisted it all week. After they were bought for me, by a well-meaning friend;
they'd be horrified if they knew the conflicting emotions that tin of biscuits
has instilled in me. I knew I should have given them away, or even binned them,
but I couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of those biscuits going in the bin,
or of not getting to taste them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I've
resisted it all week. Until now ... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"I'll
just have one," I tell myself knowing that I can't do that. Knowing that
I'm just fooling myself ... but ignoring that sensible voice. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
open the tin and, holding the lid in one hand, I allow my gaze to wander over
all of biscuits displayed there. Feeling my gaze caressing the crunchy
sweetness of each individual temptation. I feel my heart rate increase
slightly, my breathing becomes quicker and shallower as the anticipatory excitement
and anxiety slowly begin to ignite. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
hand hovers over the selection. I'm only going to have one so I need to ensure
I make the right choice. Knowing that if I regret my decision, I'll have to
have another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"Will
I have the chocolate chip cookie? The chocolate covered one? Dark chocolate?
Milk chocolate? White chocolate? The vanilla cream? The chocolate cream?" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Too
many to choose from. And each has its own attraction. "I so don't want to
get this wrong." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
finally decide on the chocolate cream. The combination of crunchy biscuit and
rich soft filling areappealing to my eyes, my brain and the taste buds on my
tongue. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"Crunch"
as my teeth break through the biscuit. Crumbs crumbling around my lips. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6yTPyv5umtp2yumb5TOAwwluBdIgrZ8ndxJkmct-XRvUpeDSnbH2DVpZKJBB43KCOlqd8wspZ2LYq9qa3LIbC2T2xq0FcJST07r_zioBALK5sDu0MQ_q4bMCwoUWB4_lY0o5lt92nlQ/s1600/Cookies" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6yTPyv5umtp2yumb5TOAwwluBdIgrZ8ndxJkmct-XRvUpeDSnbH2DVpZKJBB43KCOlqd8wspZ2LYq9qa3LIbC2T2xq0FcJST07r_zioBALK5sDu0MQ_q4bMCwoUWB4_lY0o5lt92nlQ/s1600/Cookies" /></a><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"Mmm,
delicious, " as the chocolate cream caresses my tongue. I try to savour
each mouthful, knowing I'm allowing myself only one ... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But
even as I know this, that other voice, the devilish voice at the back of my
head, is telling me; "Go on, have another one. You know you want to
experience the rich dark chocolate. You can stop after that one." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And
this is where that infernal inner argument starts; </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"Am
I strong enough to fight it today?" <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And
even as I ask myself that, or <em>because</em> I ask myself that, I know I'm going to
succumb. I know I'm going to give in. I'm half heartedly fighting it, but the
thought of more of those biscuits, those different textures, tastes, coverings
and fillings is too tempting. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"I
knew I shouldn't have had that first biscuit. That's where it all went
wrong." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My
heart is racing faster as the excitement builds, still quelled at this stage by
my sensible inner voice; "One biscuit is fine. Just stop now. You don't
need to have another one." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But
my hand reaches into the tin again and I know my sensible inner voice has been
drowned out ...again. I already feel angry with myself, but the enticement of
more of those biscuits is too great to ignore. And anyway, I can get rid of
them afterwards. It's easier to make myself sick with an overfull stomach than
after just one or two biscuits ... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
eat that second biscuit … one this time covered in chocolate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">My
heart is racing, excited, fearful, anticipation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I’m
still eating that second biscuit, but I’m already thinking about the next one …
a vanilla cream … and the next one … covered in dark chocolate … and the next
one … and the next one .. and the next one . the next one next one next one
next one …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">All
sensible thought had left me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m eating
faster and faster, trying to savour the taste, yet simultaneously, not tasting
the taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just eat them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I’ve given myself permission; just eat
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Eat as many as I can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s okay now I’ve started … I might as well
keep going until they’re finished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s
okay, I can get rid of them afterwards … <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Keep
eating them; tasting them, whilst not tasting them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Savouring them, whilst not savouring them.
Eat them, eat them … the sense of freedom and liberation … eat them, eat them
all ……<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And
that’s exactly what I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I eat them
all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">And
suddenly, the tin is empty…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Regret.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Disgust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Horror.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have</i> to get rid of them now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can’t</i>
let them all stay inside of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll
have a drink of water … it’ll mix with the biscuits and make them easier to
bring back up …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Terror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dread.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUKfJRfEA7zdovdpVJX3wupycp0Z_GIg9IVu0pGcr_sKJomLPuvO0u4vhx8gmAIBNblvUlaV08vcKb9ht4haVnSnNf_373hq3v2nHeY8HL7TrODy_vZ24tTmHfmKq7hfMyVuqsvPJJiw/s1600/bulimia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUKfJRfEA7zdovdpVJX3wupycp0Z_GIg9IVu0pGcr_sKJomLPuvO0u4vhx8gmAIBNblvUlaV08vcKb9ht4haVnSnNf_373hq3v2nHeY8HL7TrODy_vZ24tTmHfmKq7hfMyVuqsvPJJiw/s200/bulimia.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">I
don’t want to do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t want to
make myself sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m terrified of the
damage it might cause me … I’m well aware of the health risks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know I’m putting my life at risk every time
I make myself sick…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">But
I have to do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t let them stay
inside me … <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Into
the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Head over the toilet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hair tied back. Two fingers down my throat …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">Relief,
release …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><strong><em>
Remembering; and hopefully still understandinging ... to everyone who finds themselves caught in this painful, frightening,
liberating, disgusting, terrifying, disempowering, empowering cycle …<o:p></o:p></em></strong></span></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-80146729016128784962012-01-06T22:19:00.000+00:002012-01-06T22:19:37.008+00:00Turning Forty<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAK0ee9HF_MkqSL8aE1rxEUVfeIA4QEJhhBAc6Guqp72zGcwZDNsXxHTSSrj0rUVxvH992TsR7SNJWZ1XI6MdgWrxMjzKtZInwhzcnYyiCXeIimFVlwBZf6S1MhZNxQNQiNFmUXG0XWQ/s1600/100_4149.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAK0ee9HF_MkqSL8aE1rxEUVfeIA4QEJhhBAc6Guqp72zGcwZDNsXxHTSSrj0rUVxvH992TsR7SNJWZ1XI6MdgWrxMjzKtZInwhzcnYyiCXeIimFVlwBZf6S1MhZNxQNQiNFmUXG0XWQ/s320/100_4149.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A
recurring conversation topic amongst a number of friends recently has been
around turning 40. Four of my good
friends turn 40 this year; 2 of them this month (January 2012) and with each of
them, the fact of turning 40 has been a discussion point. I’ll be 39 this month and so will be entering
the fortieth year of my life; hence this topic has personal significance for me
too. But just what does turning 40
mean? Anything? Nothing?
Everything?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Is
age just about the number, or does it mean more than that? For me personally, the number itself isn’t
that important. I’m 38 right now; one
day later this month I’ll wake up and I’ll be 39 … but nothing will have
changed. My friends will be 39 until the
clock turns to midnight on their birthday and in a split second, they’ll be 40
… but nothing will have changed. Their
bodies won’t suddenly morph into something else, their lives won’t change,
there is no concrete template for what a 40 year old person should be …
everything will still be the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Or
will it … ?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">I
think that for some people, their beliefs around what it means to be a
particular age really do cause them to change once they approach that
particular birthday. If someone believes
that turning 40 labels them as middle-aged, and for them, ‘middle-aged’ has
certain behaviours or ways of being attached to it, then they’ll no doubt
rapidly change. For those people who
still believe that ‘life begins at 40,’ then they’re more likely to enjoy
entering their fifth decade and make the most of the life they’re living; it
might even give them permission to begin enjoying life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Forty,
as an age, does carry come significance however. It’s near enough the mid-point of average age
expectancy. People tend to have
established their careers or have some career experience behind them along with
families, marriages, divorces and significant deaths. By 40, people do have a lot of life
experience behind them and it can be a time to reflect on the years that have
been lived and to evaluate life up til that point. It’s a time by which childhood ambitions have
maybe been fulfilled or perhaps recognised as childish dreams. Or it can be a time to take stock of life and
to make plans for the ambitions yet to be fulfilled. And this is where the so-called ‘mid-life
crisis’ (which it is said can take place anytime between 35 and 55) steps in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaCI2sEAqIpCD5qLrA8b9zxkJQsPPNkqjqVVUe1vctQH0x5a_SlSQtSICieHeGoaicwBPD_f4RY0CzUQXHrHZ5slkKHv0ilJ56iKOgeKG2Gd2DUm4tqJifuWbXFHl6bpmJNbdm1zeZ1A/s1600/MP900407197%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaCI2sEAqIpCD5qLrA8b9zxkJQsPPNkqjqVVUe1vctQH0x5a_SlSQtSICieHeGoaicwBPD_f4RY0CzUQXHrHZ5slkKHv0ilJ56iKOgeKG2Gd2DUm4tqJifuWbXFHl6bpmJNbdm1zeZ1A/s320/MP900407197%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">In
Jungian terms, the mid-life transition is simply part of the maturation and
individuation process that we all experience as we become more true to our inner
selves. And for me, this is an exciting,
sometimes scary, and important part of
our life’s journey. It’s not necessarily
a comfortable process, but it can be hugely rewarding as the ego is left behind
and one’s Self or Soul comes to the fore. (This link will take you to what I
feel is an interesting article describing this mid-life transition in more
detail: </span><a href="http://www.aplaceinspace.net/Pages/CandyMidlife.html" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">The Quest for Soul at Midlife</a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;">)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For
me 40 is an exciting age and people are at such different life stages. Some people have 1, 2 or more marriages
behind them whilst some still remain single. Some people have grown up
children, whilst others are still raising theirs, and even others, have yet to
have their children. Some people have
made their name in their career; others are still climbing their particular
ladder, changing careers, or simply happy where they are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">It’s
an age at which we’ve experienced a lot, have learned a lot, and have made many
mistakes. But there’s still potentially
a lot of life yet to be lived. And as we
take the lessons and learnings from our first forty years in this life forward
into the future, we have the potential to create our own unique greatness and
individuality.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Everyone
is unique. Everyone’s life experience is
unique. And consequently, everyone’s
experience of turning 40 is unique. I’ve
enjoyed being in my thirties, and I intend to make the most of this decade’s
final year, but I’m also looking forward to turning 40. For me, it’s the year I hope to complete my
PhD and that will hopefully be an opening to a whole new world for me. And at 40, I hopefully, have lots of years
ahead of me in which to continue developing my skills and knowledge and sharing
that information in many different forms for the benefit of others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimnKmQla9raFtGJO0lII-NXniHXchzIV3c_eS9xgq7uhfJ-2sRD34XsNNOCWojT9jTOcf_yjcFZTV-DMHqQb1cTuthmkgi7eU5xwwBICTy1mM-RNGq9PudG3_QFeE_nlAXMs7RB4xQ-w/s1600/MP900422317%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimnKmQla9raFtGJO0lII-NXniHXchzIV3c_eS9xgq7uhfJ-2sRD34XsNNOCWojT9jTOcf_yjcFZTV-DMHqQb1cTuthmkgi7eU5xwwBICTy1mM-RNGq9PudG3_QFeE_nlAXMs7RB4xQ-w/s200/MP900422317%255B1%255D.JPG" width="189" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">For
myself, my age is just a numeric symbol of how many years I’ve been alive. It’s a number that has no other meaning …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: right;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Wishing
you all a happy 40<sup>th</sup> birthday, whenever it happens, and whatever it
means …<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-15840303103940947992012-01-01T14:03:00.000+00:002012-01-01T14:09:19.630+00:00Just might be a fun, exciting & gratifying read ...<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">As
I read the final sentence of the chapter in the book of my life called ‘2011,’
I paused for a while to reflect on everything I’d experienced and learned over
the past twelve months. It was an
interesting chapter of my life, filled (over-filled at times!) with learning,
discoveries and interesting clients. During
the chapter I became a qualified Practitioner of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)
and achieved a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy. Both of these training courses were fantastic
experiences and I learned many more clinical skills as well as the ongoing
personal development that therapeutic learning entails. My thinking has changed in many ways, for the
better, and in ways that will benefit both my clinical practice with clients
and my personal life experience. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgELlhWwNTwqVfu2BIS-c-o0T0GsfArPMPZDSoKHPPuIBCiKg_5tmhA-rxaN1EhYd-YLiqSmqMKsUEAgxuAI-nqFtbwrnzDbE4-w-lrAU1ceZHWeN0wfhOMHEhBpIMcyBb7ISmyzPCPlo8/s1600/MP900398745%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgELlhWwNTwqVfu2BIS-c-o0T0GsfArPMPZDSoKHPPuIBCiKg_5tmhA-rxaN1EhYd-YLiqSmqMKsUEAgxuAI-nqFtbwrnzDbE4-w-lrAU1ceZHWeN0wfhOMHEhBpIMcyBb7ISmyzPCPlo8/s320/MP900398745%255B1%255D.JPG" width="228" /></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Alongside
these training courses, I continued to work on my PhD. This also has broadened my knowledge of both
my subject and my Self. As a result of
the research topic being born out of personal experience, a great deal of the
academic literature that I’ve read has touched me, unexpectedly at times, at a
deep personal level. This process hasn’t
always been an easy one as I’ve had to revisit painful experiences and feelings
of my past, but ultimately, I knew that out of that pain would emerge deeper
and clearer understandings of both my topic and myself. And again, this enhances me on an academic
level, a therapeutic level and the personal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Reflecting
on these learnings as I write this now is helping me realise just how much I
did learn last year on all kinds of levels and how much I grew and developed
during the journey I took during 2011.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Another
important source of learning, this time on the personal level was a
relationship with someone who didn’t stay in my life long, but who did make a
big impression whilst they were there.
Definitely one of those people sent to me from which I had lessons to
learn. An intense relationship on many
levels and one which made me question some of my personal beliefs and helped me
recognise some of the things I need, and want, to have in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And
I was lucky to have consistency throughout the entire chapter of unquestioned love
and support from family and friends.
2011 brought a number of new people into my life, especially through my
NLP and Hypnotherapy training and without a doubt, all of those people with who
I shared some amazing experiences, have left their mark on me. Their names are written in my book for
always.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">My
counselling practice continued to grow steadily throughout the year and I was
fortunate to experience my most successful year to date. And I hope that that continues as I expand my
therapy to include NLP and Hypnotherapy.
The seeds were also sewn for exciting new workshops around Body Image
which I’m developing with a good friend and colleague. We’re piloting these workshops in a number of
schools later this month and I’m looking forward to where these workshops might
just lead …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So
all in all, the chapter called 2011 was a good one in my book. It wasn’t always a comfortable or easy read
but it <i>was</i> a very defining one, and
it did have a good few pages of fun and laughter in it too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">So
I’m left here on 1<sup>st</sup> January 2012 beginning the early pages of this
brand new chapter and looking forward with excited anticipation to meeting the
people I’ve yet to meet and the experiences I’ve yet to have, the learnings I’ve
yet to learn and the achievements I’ve yet to make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><b><i>From
here, 2012 seems like it just might be a fun, exciting and gratifying read …</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-58007435843224063012011-12-31T12:24:00.000+00:002011-12-31T12:24:36.972+00:00Midnight strikes ...<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
many ways, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are days like every other in the
year … one day turning into night turning into another day. And yet on 31<sup>st</sup> December each year
of the Gregorian calendar, many people around the world will celebrate that
natural phenomenon. New Year is a man-made construct. The world continues turning just as it always
does every day. Man created the calendar; man created the concept of time in an
attempt to bring order to our increasingly civilised lives around the changes
of the natural world. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxS6_Ix7GPgwTRXH2sPy9z0s7AiiSjlgpXCjtcgCTr6vkA0ZPEI1OCRhw2QpDPCwHJL_pG4MMnFTVMlMPXI0xh3vrEuKu4FArs30MJp6VzgwFwnivuWTX-S7FFujlReGO7TQpq3n0U_ZY/s1600/MP900407422%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxS6_Ix7GPgwTRXH2sPy9z0s7AiiSjlgpXCjtcgCTr6vkA0ZPEI1OCRhw2QpDPCwHJL_pG4MMnFTVMlMPXI0xh3vrEuKu4FArs30MJp6VzgwFwnivuWTX-S7FFujlReGO7TQpq3n0U_ZY/s320/MP900407422%255B1%255D.JPG" width="254" /></a><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In
some ways, I like the idea of ‘new year.’
It’s good to have a time to reflect back on the year that’s passed and
to begin to look forward to the year ahead.
And to know that millions of other people around the world are
potentially doing a similar thing feeds into that human need to belong, to feel
a part of something bigger than oneself.
For me, that’s part of the uniqueness of New Year; on no other evening
throughout the year are so many people celebrating, focusing on or experiencing
the clock chimes of midnight with such anticipation. And to think of people around the world
celebrating as the year turns in their time zone … like a global tidal wave of
time and celebration. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
can quite a melancholic time of year too as we reflect on the people, loves,
pets, and other things that have been lost throughout the year. A lot can change in a person’s life from the
midnight chimes of one New Year’s Day to another and it can sometimes be
difficult or even painful, to reflect on those changes. Conversely, it can be a time of celebration
of a year of achievements, happiness, love and good things experienced.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
ending of one year and beginning of a new one can also be a time of hope and
optimism as people look forward to good things they hope to achieve or
experience. A new year can feel like a
clean page in a book, just waiting to be filled with happy tales & images. And I guess this is where people would write
their New Year Resolutions … hopes, goals and aims for the year ahead. For some people, these resolutions will be
fulfilled; for others they turn into disappointments when they’re unable to live
up to the goals they’ve set for themselves.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
myself, I like the opportunity to stand where I am right now today; to look
over my shoulder at the year gone by and to decide which learnings from the
previous twelve months to bring with me and which things to leave behind. To also look forward in the direction in
which I’m heading and to catch a glimpse or two of the experiences ahead of me
in the coming year. An exciting place to
be as we can never know what the future holds for us. We can make plans and resolutions, but
sometimes life has other ideas for us … & that’s both scary an exciting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m
looking forward with excitement and anticipation to whatever 2012 has in store
for me. I intend to make the most of the
opportunities I can create for myself and to negotiate as best I can the detours
life might just choose to lead me on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: right;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Wishing you all a fulfilling, growthful
and satisfying 2012, x<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-4563885019953111612011-12-24T21:30:00.000+00:002011-12-24T22:48:05.441+00:00The Most Magical Night of the Year<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLlhhxPmo4cPe7wRcZ4R8fAaJsU6R8D0sbUHr2KIKwHq4fLZBnJQdhxUbbnJZ01oKtpw1XwUyCuCdVhblwQ9mBrse4FUpSNMOXnFDfOu6hI1AJgAN1iNSXjgIK9h_7m-0i37L8gXRtH5c/s1600/MP900446402%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLlhhxPmo4cPe7wRcZ4R8fAaJsU6R8D0sbUHr2KIKwHq4fLZBnJQdhxUbbnJZ01oKtpw1XwUyCuCdVhblwQ9mBrse4FUpSNMOXnFDfOu6hI1AJgAN1iNSXjgIK9h_7m-0i37L8gXRtH5c/s320/MP900446402%255B1%255D.JPG" width="203" /></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">For
me, even now, Christmas Eve is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still</i>
the most magical night of the year. As an adult, I am still able to capture and experience the feelings I had as a child on Christmas Eve … and, I love,
every year, tapping into those life-long feelings … feelings I hope I can hold
onto for always. I can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still</i> re-experience that sense of awe, bewilderment,
anticipation and joy at the idea of, and belief in, Santa Claus. I can <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still</i>
feel what it felt like to truly believe and to imagine Santa, his sleigh and
his reindeer flying through the night air, landing on roof tops … and again, I
intend to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">never</i> let go of those old
feelings I can still feel …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Every
year, I truly believe that magic can happen.
I always spend time on Christmas Eve looking back over the year that has
gone by, remembering and being grateful for the achievements and good times,
remembering and being grateful for the growth and learnings that have come
from the not so good times. And then,
looking forward with excitement and anticipation to the year ahead … tapping
into the magic of childhood and years gone by, and ‘believing’ (hoping?) that
some of that magic just might make its way into the year ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Christmas
Eve in my childhood involved a walk up to the local church with my parents for
the Children’s Nativity Service at tea time.
I still remember being in the church, holding my candle, watching the
nativity scene grow as members of the congregation added the various people to
the manger scene as the service, readings and carols, took us through the
story of the nativity. I loved the
feeling in the church; of connection, of reverence, of magic, and of excitement. And it was in the church, that for me, I’d
start thinking about Santa Claus coming later that evening once I was fast
asleep in bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">After
the service, we’d walk back home and my Mam would cook a joint of ham for
Christmas tea time. My Dad would go out
with his friends … and I’d wait up for him coming home so we could both have
sandwiches of hot, freshly cooked ham, with the butter melting on the bread from the heat of the ham!
Before this, I’d have helped my Mam put chocolates (usually Quality
Street!), nuts, dates, Turkish Delight and Liquorice Allsorts out on the coffee
table around the Christmas tree … and, I’d have ‘sampled’ the treats we were
putting out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I
also remember sitting in our living room, with the ceiling light out and just
sitting in the glow of the coloured fairy-lights on the Christmas tree. I used to love the coloured glow reflecting
on the walls, and just sitting / lying on the sofa under that same coloured
glow … it was a really special time of the year for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8z-hbI7hYlADNOx0BfsOSOpqUtyYMIpLMXwL24JCR13AsmVTsbi3U_GVwc738YdXxjru2SSxkMq7JZzT1ByKaWHJMwIk36Jwt-mcarg-AMTWPvxwTsAjYDmlcl5BtPQo9i4cl-FWssAM/s1600/MP900216163%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8z-hbI7hYlADNOx0BfsOSOpqUtyYMIpLMXwL24JCR13AsmVTsbi3U_GVwc738YdXxjru2SSxkMq7JZzT1ByKaWHJMwIk36Jwt-mcarg-AMTWPvxwTsAjYDmlcl5BtPQo9i4cl-FWssAM/s320/MP900216163%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’d
also leave a glass of milk, a tot of whisky and a mince pie out for Santa Claus
… with a carrot left for Rudolph. I’d
also leave a note for Santa … which, the next morning, had always been
answered!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And
then, I’d love going to bed … lying there, going to sleep, believing that Santa
Claus would come through the night and leave presents for me. Even once I was old enough to stop believing,
I was still able to remember, and re-experience those feelings … feelings I’m feeling now, and feelings I know I’ll experience as I lie
in bed this evening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><i>And I love, that I can still remember,
re-experience that magic, that sense of anticipation and belief. I love feeling those old feelings, each and
every year …</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ36RP5jforwe56FGjvq_FuQU51f_8_iqQPvRt70tLqTl24_8IQho6PuWV6D1VKAIwPTpD1n55OwozUhCesDvgPeoEX4_RVv0sZhBGktgPJ_1XmDzuTk7hLFe0kCOZS-ARalMNUbIRRas/s1600/SS850207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ36RP5jforwe56FGjvq_FuQU51f_8_iqQPvRt70tLqTl24_8IQho6PuWV6D1VKAIwPTpD1n55OwozUhCesDvgPeoEX4_RVv0sZhBGktgPJ_1XmDzuTk7hLFe0kCOZS-ARalMNUbIRRas/s200/SS850207.JPG" width="197" /></a><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And
the feeling of waking up on Christmas morning, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knowing</i> that Santa Claus had been!
And the excitement of going into the dining room to see toys from Santa … and then into the living room to find wrapped
presents under the tree from other people.
I loved … and still love remembering and re-experiencing … the excitement,
anticipation of Christmas morning!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">And
I know, that even when I wake tomorrow morning and I become aware that it’s
Christmas morning, I’ll re-experience those feelings from childhood of
excitement and anticipation and of awe that Santa will have been. I LOVE Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning
for the magical feelings they still instil in me …<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><b><i>I feel really lucky and privileged that I can still feel those wonderful childhood magical feelings ... hope you can all feel them too, x</i></b></span></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-16927717640264727862011-12-24T11:53:00.002+00:002011-12-24T14:54:51.042+00:00A Hypnotic Christmas Present From Me To You<br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I’ve recently
completed a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy, and so for today’s blog, I’ve
decided to write in a different format … a hypnotic Christmas script; my
Christmas gift to you … with love, x<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Psua46tyt1FT_r8CCcON3KXqDrZyawm503gxwlUW-47SCuPRUxNXeL4y2D6HgD2JY0ppfbplLY6RpWkPgXS_Xz5pe9tlO4LteaMaMQMHBhCXTovvIPOn76902pfLLaekaqraCerQYaw/s1600/MP900402202%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Psua46tyt1FT_r8CCcON3KXqDrZyawm503gxwlUW-47SCuPRUxNXeL4y2D6HgD2JY0ppfbplLY6RpWkPgXS_Xz5pe9tlO4LteaMaMQMHBhCXTovvIPOn76902pfLLaekaqraCerQYaw/s200/MP900402202%255B1%255D.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;">I was told a story by a
very good friend of mine … a very good friend of yours … a friend who wanted to
share goodness and joy … joy and goodness … especially for this special time of
year … Once upon a time to relax and let go … of sadness and pain … it’s time
to open the doors of your mind is a place of wonder and joy … of hope and
happiness is yours to play with, isn’t it?
That’s right … happiness is a wonderful gift … a present given to you …
today … in the present … and, as you open this present … and see what’s inside,
just for you … and this is what my friend, and your friend, told me … inside
the present is a magical gift … a gift with the presence to manifest your
Christmas wishes … Look deeply inside … and there you’ll see a snow storm … but
this is a magical snow storm … and I know that you’re curious to know … just
how deeply this snow can fall … how much deeper and deeper you go, that’s right
… and there are children laughing and having fun … playing with brand new toys
… sliding down hillsides on sledges … deeper and deeper … sliding safely into a
place of wonder what you’ll find … as
you wander through the falling snow … and you know, that as that snows falls
around you, softly brushing against your skin … and you’re curious because this
snow is magical … and this snow is soft … and curiously, warm and comfortable …
as, you join in with the children’s games … building snow men … and snow balls
and this s(k)now it’s your time to have fun, to laugh, to giggle … for always
and in all ways … that’s right … to be filled with the wonder of the child …
the child that knows that magic is real … that Father Christmas comes to you …
on his sleigh … and … ssshh … just listen to the sound of those sleigh bells …
hear those bells ring out your name … feel the vibration as the message of
Christmas … the message of your Christmas … is told to you … as you listen …
and hear the words that you need to hear today … voices coming from inside your
present … with words of joy and hope and happiness … for today, for Christmas…
and for your future is here today … wrap up those words, gift wrap your
snowstorm … and, as my friend … and your friend … Father Christmas told me …
take your present of happiness, love and joy … and gift it to yourself … for
your present … for your future and for all of your tomorrows … and I know that
now … as you open your eyes to your
present … your heart and life are filled, with love, joy and happiness … <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%;"><i><b>Merry Christmas 2011; with wishes that this is your merriest Christmas yet ...</b></i></span></div>
</div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-29233991182081433012011-12-06T20:35:00.001+00:002011-12-06T21:13:48.731+00:00The body as object or experiential container of self?<div>
In modern western society, we live in a culture where a great deal of emphasis is placed on how we look as opposed to what our bodies actually enable us to do and experience. This creates a sense of our bodies as objects and creates a sense of disconnection between our bodies and our experiencing of our-Selves.<br />
<br />
In the past, our bodies were experienced and appreciated more as means of production, ensuring we remained connected to, and within them. Before the advent of modern technology we used our bodies more; housework was heavier than it is now, people were more actively involved in the growth and production of their own food. The machines we use today create a distance between those things and our bodies, and we no longer experience the satisfaction of using our bodies for hard labour. And it seems that the less, as a society, we have the need to use our bodies for production or constructive reasons, the more the emphasis has shifted onto how our bodies look.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4w9U1RTfkiuMekkA2_1RmbdpFe_AQR5Z2I3g4tajfxdGQdGenRg05cnqeSvQMl32huZO2qi0FmrMGWO4HPXZMQjGHzZ4Byg2fEcG6vu4BYl-I2E668kJFdxDulytYm9hsIEZcfCkkXQ/s1600/Body+Image+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4w9U1RTfkiuMekkA2_1RmbdpFe_AQR5Z2I3g4tajfxdGQdGenRg05cnqeSvQMl32huZO2qi0FmrMGWO4HPXZMQjGHzZ4Byg2fEcG6vu4BYl-I2E668kJFdxDulytYm9hsIEZcfCkkXQ/s200/Body+Image+cropped.jpg" width="142" /></a></div>
Turning the body into an object to be sculpted, to be dieted or exercised into an ideal dictated to us by the media and peer pressure, disconnects us from our-Selves. Our bodies are part of our-Selves. Our bodies are how we present our-Selves to the world. Our bodies are from where we relate to other people. Our bodies are also what enable us to experience our thoughts, feelings and experiences through our five senses. And yet, by viewing them as objects which need to be changed to fit society’s ideals and expectations, it’s easy to lose sight of, or to lose touch with, the true value and meaning of our bodies; as experiential containers of our Selves.</div>
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In modern Britain, it’s almost an accepted norm that women especially, but increasingly men too, will be weight and body conscious, or on some kind of restricting diet in order to mould themselves into an ‘ideal’ shape constructed by the media and society. It seems that many people are more concerned with what society and our culture tell us about how we should look than with listening to their own Selves, to their own bodies. And this is where disordered eating can begin to creep in as people lose touch with their body’s own hunger signals in their attempts to mould their body to fit these ideals. Our bodies, if we learn how to listen clearly to them will tell us what we need to eat. Our bodies, if we listen to them and satisfy their physiological hunger will settle at a weight that’s right for them; very difficult to achieve though in a culture which prizes thinness, and often thinness to a point below the natural weight of many women.</div>
<div>
<br />
Our modern Western world is still based on a patriarchal system where the masculine is prized over the feminine. The masculine principles of individuality, rational thought, autonomy and independence are prized above the feminine principles of intuition, feelings and emotion. A spiritual theory of eating disorders views eating disorders as a ‘Spiritual Hunger’, as a woman’s disconnection from her Self, her Inner Goddess and her inner feminine as a result of trying to fit into this Western world. People with eating disorders tend to have highly developed masculine principles to the detriment of their feminine and spiritual side which shows itself both in their character traits and their determination to eliminate their physical feminine body.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7WnVgSpK8F8ufWWqjizCWfLUUyOeUjm9T6x5H-1PNYTYdNxjO32sELqs8Dl106Hj26UpROLo94GBNK8Pa9eZpFyfUHc6IMquwECtENRncOGa0vrqNpwEYBXg3hftMW39SzPd0wRuklg/s1600/600px-VenusWillendorf+from+Wiki.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7WnVgSpK8F8ufWWqjizCWfLUUyOeUjm9T6x5H-1PNYTYdNxjO32sELqs8Dl106Hj26UpROLo94GBNK8Pa9eZpFyfUHc6IMquwECtENRncOGa0vrqNpwEYBXg3hftMW39SzPd0wRuklg/s200/600px-VenusWillendorf+from+Wiki.jpg" width="200" /></a>The accepted female shape, or what is considered ‘attractive’ has changed considerably over time. In past centuries, and even today in other cultures, female bodies are valued and worshipped for the amazing vessels which they are; bodies which nourish and create life. This statue, the ‘Venus of Willendorf’ from Palaeolithic times illustrates these changes.<br />
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The idea of woman as a goddess, prevalent in ancient times, has been lost in our society, and today instead, we’re fed images of often<br />
painfully, or unrealistically, thin models to aspire to. A healthy</div>
<div>
woman’s body is meant to contain a percentage of fat (between 21% and 36%, compared to 10% and 25% for men), it’s meant to be curvy to house her internal organs and prepare her for nurturing children. A female curvy body with rounded stomach, thighs and hips were once valued and worshipped. Yet today, women strive to eliminate all such curves; and by doing so disconnect themselves from their full experiencing of them-Selves and their experience of living as a woman in a woman’s body.<br />
<br />
This blog post can also be found on Camel's Hump Blog ...<a href="http://camelshump.co.uk/2011/12/06/is-the-body-just-an-object/" target="_blank">http://camelshump.co.uk/2011/12/06/is-the-body-just-an-object/</a></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-41610821524667288622011-11-18T10:44:00.001+00:002011-11-18T10:53:57.560+00:00Giving the researcher a voice: a conference presentationEarlier this week, I presented a paper at York St John University's 6th Annual Research Methodologies Conference. Please click the following link to view my Powerpoint slides and read a version of my verbal presentation .... <a href="http://www.box.com/s/ilj434q3a951eqo1oe86">http://www.box.com/s/ilj434q3a951eqo1oe86</a><br />
<br />
The presentation is essentially about how the way in which I am carrying out my PhD research has progressed. As I have gotten more and more involved in my research, I have increasingly recognised that research does not always have to be positivist or objective. Especially within the Social Sciences, where people are the subject of the research, objectivity is not so possible. Also, because my research topic is one with which I have intimate connections, I have found it increasingly impossible to keep myself at the objective distance required of positivist research paradigms.<br />
<br />
I discovered that my own history, knowledge, and experience (personal and professional) were yielding invaluable sources of data, and I want to find a way to incorporate all of this into my research ... hence the 'reflexivity' and 'autoethnography' which this presentation discusses.<br />
<br />
Currently in my 4th year of a part-time PhD at York St John University, my research is entitled ... "Every body has a voice: the impact on the counsellor's embodied subjectivity when working with clients presenting with eating disorder symptomatology"<br />
<br />Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-32986765818358805072011-11-12T13:14:00.000+00:002011-11-13T09:44:10.007+00:00Anorexia as an autism spectrum disorder?<div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;">
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 16px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 16px;">After
writing my blog earlier this week about Asperger’s Syndrome, I was intrigued
when I opened my newly delivered copy of the European Eating Disorders Review
journal on Thursday (Vol. 19, Issue 6, Nov-Dec 2011) to see the first article
entitled; “Is anorexia nervosa a version of autism spectrum disorders?” The research essentially highlights
similarities in cognitive functioning between people diagnosed with anorexia
and those with an autism spectrum disorder.</span></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Reading
this article has led me to see what other research I could find about this link
so I could think about the possibility for myself. My earlier blog was inspired by my thinking
about someone close to me and my struggle to understand them. This new angle has now made me revisit some
of my understandings about myself; as someone who was once diagnosed with anorexia. In my earlier blog, I noted that I saw some
traits of Asperger’s within myself … where does this new information leave me
with my understanding of myself? And of
my relationship with this other person?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">There
isn’t a great deal of research to be easily found, but what I have found, I’ve
written about, under the heading of ‘So what has the research out there told
me?’ below. For people not interested in
reading the details of the research or my reactions to it, I’ve written ‘My Own
Thoughts’ on the possible link immediately below …<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My Own Thoughts<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Reading
the research was initially another ‘light bulb’ moment of enlightenment for me. I thought; “Yes, I can see the links; makes a
lot of sense to me!” Anorexia definitely
shares some of its traits with autism spectrum disorders, and more specifically
the Asperger’s end of the spectrum (see bullet-point list below for comparative
examples). When I was ‘anorexic’ I would
have satisfied a lot of the Asperger’s traits to quite a high degree … as would
most anorexics. Strange to think that at
that time, I could probably have satisfied an Asperger’s diagnosis … and yet,
that definitely wasn’t my experience; I was Anorexic. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And
now, no longer anorexic, I can still see my tendency towards those traits (as
I’m sure many people who haven’t experienced eating difficulties can!) but my
increased self-acceptance and self awareness enable me to use those traits in a
constructive and life-enhancing way.
With anorexia, there <i>is</i> a way
forward … helping the individual work through their need to control food and /
or their body and enabling them to gain weight.
The physiological effects of starvation create and / or exacerbate these
same traits, so someone with anorexia whose weight drops significantly will
display them, but once their weight rises out of the ‘danger zone’ the traits
diminish. The individual with a diagnosis on the autism
spectrum disorder does not ‘recover’ … they might learn ways of managing their
life effectively to compensate for their autistic / aspergic traits, but they
can’t recover in the same way as many people with anorexia can, and <i>do</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Seeing
the similarities, has helped me understand how easily I related to, &
connected so deeply with, someone in my life with Asperger’s … I was seeing
parts of myself there. I could
understand that other person’s way of thinking, their way of being in the world
… because I’d been there myself. And
although I’m no longer there to a significant extent, I do still have the
understanding I gathered as a result of my time spent in that anorexic-aspergic
world, making it so much easier for me to effectively relate to, and with,
someone with Asperger’s.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">If
there are links between anorexia and autism spectrum disorders, it opens a lot
of questions as to how we currently help people with anorexia. Most treatment currently focuses on
challenging the anorexic thinking and behaviour, exploring reasons behind the
behaviour to find what purpose it serves for the individual and either
resolving those underlying issues or helping them find more effective coping
strategies, and exploring their relationship with food and their bodies to
encourage a healthier way of relating.
However, if it was the case that anorexia had a neurobiological
component, like autism spectrum disorders, therapy wouldn’t improve the
condition to any significant degree.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And
like myself, many people who have been anorexic move into Bulimia, which
encompasses many different personality traits.
The individual with bulimia loses some of their perfectionism, their
ability to maintain control or to focus on the minutia. They often feel at the mercy of their
emotions whereas anorexics and those on the autism spectrum are less able to
experience or recognise such swings in emotion.<span style="text-transform: uppercase;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m
not sure … there <i>may</i> be links, but
I’d like to see some more definitive research before I wholeheartedly endorse
the idea. Yes, I think the two
‘conditions’ display a number of similarities, but I’m not convinced they’re
part of the same ‘disorder’ … I’d be happy to be proved wrong though! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The
research does seem to indicate a higher than normal prevalence of autism
spectrum disorders within diagnosed anorexics than in the general population,
but for me, this doesn’t prove the link.
Instead it makes sense to me that females on the autism spectrum (diagnosed or not), because
of the cultural imperative to be thin in modern Western society and hence
control eating and body weight / shape, are probably more likely to turn to
anorexic behaviour as a coping mechanism.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As
someone currently working with people with anorexia, and with a past anorexic
diagnosis, I think the recognition of these links is important in that it has
helped me gain yet again, a deeper understanding of Anorexia and also of
Asperger’s, which can only be a good thing…<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So what has the
research out there told me? <o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">In
previous research in 2007, Professor Janet Treasure (professor of psychiatry at
the Institute of Psychiatry, King’s College, London, and a recognised
‘authority’ on eating disorders) suggested two aspects of the link between
anorexia and autistic spectrum traits.
The first is that because of their propensity for black and white
thinking, needing to feel in control and an obsession with rules and systematic
thinking, girls on the autism spectrum are more likely to be drawn into the
controlled world of anorexia. Having
rules to follow around eating affords them the safety and control they
enjoy. The second link comes from the
physiological changes brought about as a result of the effects of starvation on
the body, which echo and exaggerate the autistic traits. The effects of starvation on the brain
include impaired cognitive functioning, a tendency to think in black and white
terms, a focus on themselves and an increasing difficulty in reading other
people … all common traits of those on the autism spectrum.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">There seems to
be a higher prevalence of autism spectrum disorder in those diagnosed with
Anorexia Nervosa than in the general public</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">; a study reported by Janet
Treasure in 2007 claimed 1 in 5 anorexics met the criteria for an autism
spectrum disorder and Tony Atwood (a recognised ‘expert’ on Asperger’s), also
in 2007, reported between 18% & 23% of anorexic teenage girls meeting some
or all of the criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome.
The prevalence rate for all autistic spectrum disorders in the general
population is estimated to be around 1%.
For me, as written above, this simply indicates that females with an autism
spectrum disorder are more likely than the general population to use anorexia
as a way of attempting to deal with their personality traits. Or that girls who develop anorexia typically
share many of the autism spectrum disorder traits and their anorexic behaviour
and physiological changes it brings about exacerbates these same traits.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">One area in
which Janet Treasure links anorexia with autism spectrum disorders is from a
neurobiological basis</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">. It has been established that autism spectrum
disorders result from atypical neurological processing (the brain processing
information in a different way from the person not on the autism spectrum) and
Treasure has proposed that anorexia results in part from this neurobiological
level. This is an interesting concept as
it impacts on the current understanding of eating disorders being more
socio-culturally influenced. It
consequently has huge implications for how we work with people presenting with
anorexia. There appears to be, as yet,
no definitive research to confirm or disprove this theory. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For
myself, the following similarities when they were first highlighted to me were
what excited me and made me think that maybe a link between the two ‘conditions
could be possible. <b>Common symptoms</b> <b>shared</b> <b>between people with a diagnosis of anorexia and those on the autism
spectrum include…<o:p></o:p></b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<ul><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Obsessive or compulsive behaviour</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A tendency towards perfectionism with the individual having a need to do things perfectly or completely</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Reduced ability to see, and think about, self-identity and connections with others</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Difficult empathising</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A tendency towards focusing on minute details, and therefore, an inability to see the bigger picture </span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Difficulty with multi-tasking or switching between ideas and tasks</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A lack of flexibility in their thinking, which makes coping with changes in plans or routines very difficult and stressful</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A like of routine</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Difficulty in negotiating, and coping with, life changes</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Ritualised eating, food preparation, or exercise routines</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Increased incidence of anxiety and depression</span></li>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></ul>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">However</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">, as discussed
above, people diagnosed with anorexia are able to move away from these rigid
patterns as they ‘recover’ … unlike those with an autism spectrum diagnosis …
unless, the individual experiencing anorexia actually has a co-morbid autism
spectrum diagnosis.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Another
similarity which intrigued me, because I wasn’t aware of it, and which again,
highlights a physiological element to anorexia is that both individuals
diagnosed with anorexia and those on the autism spectrum have <b>lower levels of Oxytocin</b>. Oxytocin is a
hormone involved in social recognition, the ability to empathise, bonding and
sexual arousal; all of which may be impaired in these two categories of people. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Anorexia has
been called the female Asperger’s … </span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Professor Christopher Gillberg, writing
in 2005 suggested that autism spectrum disorders may be overlooked in girls as
they present in different ways than with males; for example, anorexia, and it
may be easy to overlook the possibility of an autism spectrum diagnosis when
the presenting symptoms are indicating anorexia. As I wrote above, for me it seems likely that
females on the autism spectrum
(diagnosed or not), because of the cultural imperative to be thin in modern
Western society and hence control eating and body weight / shape, are probably
more likely to turn to anorexic behaviour as a coping mechanism.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I’m always happy
to have my current ways of thinking challenged</span></b><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> (doesn’t that
statement itself ‘prove’ how far I’ve moved away from an anorexic / aspergic
way of thinking!?!) and for me, challenging my beliefs, allows me to question
them and to look around them and decide if I really do still believe them as
they stand. It allows me to adapt and
expand my understandings and ways of thinking about things and to see a bigger
picture as more relevant research emerges. I suspect that this will be an area
of research I keep a close eye on …<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5619528665243675.post-68474495460970376002011-11-08T17:47:00.004+00:002011-11-08T18:24:42.633+00:00What is this thing we call 'counselling'?I've just rediscovered this 'information sheet' I wrote earlier this year, & thought I'd share it on here. It gives a very brief overview of counselling & some of the different approaches available ...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Counselling</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">When might counselling help?</span><br /><br />If anything is troubling you in your life, counselling can provide a safe, accepting, confidential place in which you can talk about your concerns. People talk about a wide range of things in counselling, including; drug use, eating problems, bereavement, family issues, relationship problems, sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse, other forms of childhood abuse, work related concerns, sexuality and much more.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">What is counselling and how does it work?</span><br /><br />Counselling allows you the opportunity to sit down with a trained professional and explore your thoughts, feelings and emotions about the situation you find yourself in. The counsellor will offer a safe and accepting place in which you can talk about yourself and any concerns you may have. The counsellor will not judge you, or anything you say, but will instead allow you to explore the thoughts and feelings you may be having which you maybe don’t want to share with friends or family.<br /><br />By talking about yourself and your experiences in a safe place and having what you say heard and listened to carefully you may find that the influence of those experiences on your life begins to lessen. The process of sharing your thoughts and feelings can be very helpful in enabling you to make sense of yourself and your life. Sharing things with a counsellor who you can trust not to judge you and who isn’t part of your usual circle of friends can be a healing experience in itself. <br /><br />We don’t often get the opportunity to sit down and talk about ourselves in such a focussed way. Having your experiences and yourself listened to in such an accepting way by someone else can help you begin to feel better about yourself. And this in turn can help you begin to like and accept yourself more, which leads to improved self-esteem and self-confidence.<br /><br />Counsellors tend not to give advice or tell you what to do, and will instead enable you to make your own decisions about what you need to do. In this way, you learn to trust yourself more and learn how to empower yourself to live your life more effectively. <br /><br />Counsellors will reflect back to you some of the things they hear you say; hearing your words reflected back by someone else can sometimes help you hear them in a different way which can change the way you understand them or think and feel about yourself. Sometimes too, just hearing yourself tell your story out-loud and the process of having to think about it clearly in order to tell it to someone else can help you make clearer sense of it for yourself.<br /><br />Counsellors may also ask you questions or offer you exercises and activities to help you explore your thoughts and feelings in a different way. Sometimes we can get stuck in unhelpful ways of thinking which leave us feeling unhappy or unfulfilled. The counsellor’s questions can help you challenge these ways of thinking and find more effective ways of viewing yourself and your situation which will enable you to make changes in your life.<br /><br />Working together with you like this, the counsellor is aiming to help you develop a clearer understanding of yourself and your life and to help you decide upon any changes you wish to make to help you live more happily.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The counselling process</span><br /><br />Counselling sessions tend to last between 50 minutes and one hour, depending on how the counsellor works. They usually happen on a weekly or fortnightly basis because counselling is a process which you need to engage in regularly in order to get best results. Once you’ve talked about something in a session, it’s helpful if you think about the things you’ve talked about in the time between sessions. In this way, you are beginning to make changes to yourself and your life which you can discuss with your counsellor at your next appointment. <br /><br />At the first session, the counsellor will discuss the “counselling contract” or “counselling agreement” with you. This will set out what you can expect from your counselling and will include things like the counsellor’s confidentiality policy, how often you will be seen, how many sessions you are entitled to, what happens if you miss sessions, etc. In the first session, the counsellor will give you the opportunity to tell your story and talk about your hopes or what you wish to achieve from counselling. They may also carry out a formal assessment, looking at things including your history, your support systems, your current life situation and any risk factors (things like excessive alcohol use, drug use, self-harm or suicidal intent). This first session gives both you and the counsellor the opportunity to decide if counselling is the most appropriate service for you.<br /><br />The first session also gives you the opportunity to find out if you feel comfortable with the counsellor. The relationship which you develop with them is an important part of the process and you need to feel comfortable with the person you are choosing to work with; after all, you're going to talking to them about personal, precious, private, and sometimes painful things. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Accessing counselling</span><br /><br />Counselling is offered by a number of organisations, depending upon which services you are accessing. This counselling is very often free, although some organisations may charge a fee. You can also be referred to counselling within your GP surgery, which is free. Private counsellors also offer counselling, although you will need to pay for this.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Different styles of counselling</span><br /><br />There a number of different approaches to counselling and different counsellors work in different ways. Below are details of four of the most common approaches used. Some counsellors work purely from one particular model, whilst others may integrate skills and techniques from a number of approaches, and call themselves ‘Integrative’ or ‘Eclectic.’ It can be useful to talk to your counsellor about how they work so that you can understand a little bit about their approach and how you will be working together.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Person Centred</span> <br /><br />Person Centred counsellors work from the belief that clients are the experts in their own life and have all of their own answers inside. The approach is non-directive which means that the counsellor will not give you advice or tell you what to do in any way. They will follow your lead, believing that you, as the client will bring to counselling those things which are most pressing for you to explore. This also encourages you to learn to take responsibility for yourself, by teaching you to decide what is most important to you. The counsellor will help you explore the issues you take to counselling to help you find more effective ways of understanding your situation or living your life.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy</span>)<br /><br />The underlying belief of CBT is that the thoughts we have influence our behaviour and how we act. By helping you to take more notice of the thoughts you are having, the therapist will help you find ways of challenging and changing your unhelpful thoughts to more helpful ones. With these more effective ways of thinking in place, you can then choose to change your behaviours to help you live more effectively.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Psychodynamic</span><br /><br />Psychodynamic counsellors will help you explore the impact your unconscious and your past experience is having on your current life situation. As children, we learn beliefs, values and behaviours from the adults around us and how they treat us and other people. Sometimes when we grow up the things we learned in childhood prevent us from being happy or living our lives effectively. By exploring where our beliefs originate from, we can then find ways to challenge and change them to more effective beliefs which fit more easily with the adult we have become. Psychodynamic therapists also believe that we often respond to people and situations in our current lives in ways which remind us of past experiences and relationships. This may occur in the counselling relationship and the therapist will observe how you interact with them, with the aim of assisting you to find more effective ways of relating to people in the present. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Gestalt</span><br /><br />Gestalt therapists focus on the whole of the client’s experience. They will encourage you to gain self awareness and understanding of your behaviours by encouraging you to talk about yourself. They will focus on your body language (the unconscious movements you make as you talk), which can often give clues as to how you are thinking or feeling. The Gestalt therapist may encourage you to act out scenarios or explore your dreams in order to enable you to become more aware of your unconscious thought processes. Bringing your unconscious gestures and thoughts to awareness allows you to make more effective choices about your beliefs, behaviours and ways of living.Sharon Coxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10811626116970764037noreply@blogger.com0