Look behind the initial facts

Monday 22^nd March 2010

 

Nothing in life is ever black and white. This weekend, my car was damaged whilst it was parked in the street, across the road from where I was babysitting. I got a phone call from the police at 10.30pm to let me know; all I was told on the phone was that my car had been damaged & the police officer was on his way round to see me. My heart sank as I had no idea as to how much, or what kind of damage, had been caused. I didn't even go out to see it until the police officer got there – I think I was putting off finding out.

As I went out with the police officer to have look, he told me the story of how it had happened . . . apparently a man who was recently bereaved had had a fair bit to drink and had taken out his emotions on 4 or 5 cars in the same street; mine being one of them. Someone had seen him & apprehended him; at which point he apparently broke down & waited willingly for the police to come and arrest him.

I have SUCH mixed feelings about the incident though. Yes, I'm not happy about the damage to my car – especially as it's going to need a new bonnet; hence an insurance claim on my policy, which will probably affect my no claims. BUT my heart is just going out to the guy who did it. Seemingly, such behaviour is not part of his usual way of being, and it seems he was simply overcome by his grief . . . and I can't be angry with someone, so obviously in such pain.

Grief, and other intense emotions can cause us all to behave in ways we wouldn't normally even dream of. But doesn't that just show the intensity of the feeling? Doesn't it also show that we're all capable of anything; how can we ever know how we'll react to a real trauma in our life? We can plan for how we think we'll behave, but until we're consumed by emotion, we can have no idea as to how we'll react.

I think this incident also shows that we shouldn't judge someone, or something that happens, purely on initial facts . . . there's very often a good reason behind why people do the things that they do. If only more people could be more empathic and take the time to discover the facts before jumping to conclusions. People, very often, become very blinkered and aren't prepared to try and put themselves into anyone else's shoes; and in fact, doing so can be a very humbling experience. It's also a very rewarding experience in that it allows you to open up your world to other ways of being and experiencing.